


heartbreaker

by injeoImis (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, Jeno is jealous, M/M, Minor Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, angst kinda, chensung are softies, fluff too, jaemin is a fuckboy, renjun is a softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-06-27
Packaged: 2019-04-13 16:08:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 27,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14116002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/injeoImis
Summary: na jaemin is known as the school's heartbreaker. everyone knows it's a bad idea to get too attached to him. except huang renjun.





	1. i can't figure you out

**Author's Note:**

> chapter title: heartbreaker - nct 127

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: heartbreaker - nct 127

every day was the same for huang renjun, prince of china, as his friends liked to call him, despite the fact they lived in seoul, south korea. the days started with renjun waking up at half past five every weekday morning. after getting out of bed, he would wash his face, brush his teeth, put on his uniform, eat breakfast, and head off to school without seeing his parents once. there wasn’t much he could do about not seeing his parents in the mornings. everyone in his household were busy people, including renjun himself.

 

every day when he got to his locker at precisely seven in the morning, chenle would be sitting on the floor in front of it, wearing his school uniform in a messy manner because of the school’s monday morning basketball practices. “good morning, renjun! you’re early as usual,” he greeted, moving out of the older boy’s way.

 

“you’re always here earlier than me on mondays,” renjun pointed out, switching books from his locker to his bag and such. chenle shrugged with an unusual smile on his face. most monday mornings, the younger teen was in a mood because he hated being tired for the school day after a morning practice. “what’s got you in a good mood for once, sir?” renjun asked but he regretted asking as soon as chenle opened his mouth, “look at the time stamp on this text from jisung! four thirty a.m. that’s fifteen minutes before i wake up for practice!” renjun rolled his eyes, “he could’ve automated the text.”

 

chenle shook his head, “you can’t do that on iphones. jisung loves me enough to wake up two hours and thirty minutes before usual to wish me a good practice.” renjun turned his head to frown discreetly. he wanted cute good morning texts from a boyfriend. even though chenle and jisung weren’t dating, they might as well have been. there probably was never a moment the two young teens couldn’t be found apart. except the days chenle had basketball practice or a game and the days jisung went to student council meetings as sophomore body president or his own soccer practices or games.

 

“as we are on the topic of crushes, has anyone caught your beautiful eyes this semester, lover boy?” chenle teased, bumping into renjun’s right arm. “the school year just started. and no, no one you’d know anyway,” renjun lied. if he was being honest, chenle was a popular junior because of his position on the basketball team. the younger boy was an esteemed point guard for the team which meant he was a good player which also resulted in him getting a lot of game time. “is it… jeno?” chenle asked, whispering their friend’s name.

 

“n-no! it would never be him. _capital_ n on _never_ ,” renjun rolled his eyes. he pinched chenle for even bringing that awkward crush back into his mind, ignoring the younger boy's cry of pain. last year, when renjun and jeno were sophomores, renjun had a big crush on his friend but couldn’t pursue it as jeno was dating someone else, named jaemin. things went bad in jeno’s relationship and for the rest of sophomore year, he hadn’t dated anyone. jeno still hasn’t pursued any other relationships starting their junior year but renjun only liked jeno as a good friend now.

 

chenle laughed, earning the two stares from others around them that they both ignored as they continued on their way to the cafeteria where they would meet jisung at their usual table. “morning,” jisung said, in barely a whisper. the youngest of the two was usually quiet so renjun didn’t think anything of it. “how was your monday practice?” jisung asked chenle, disregarding renjun’s presence.

 

the two younger boys engaged in a sports conversation that renjun had no knowledge of. he only knew the basics of basketball and soccer, not enough to have an entire talk about it. renjun didn’t care about the sports enough to want to talk about it either.

 

looking around the cafeteria, renjun could only pick out faces he knew from the previous years. a girl named mian who he had english i with in freshman year. renjun moved to english iii in sophomore year and was now in english iv as a junior with jeno. from not too far away, renjun noticed mark sitting with donghyuck, his new boyfriend. renjun was waiting for those losers to get together since the middle of sophomore year. donghyuck would talk about mark nonstop and it was annoying as fuck. renjun wondered if he ever did that about jeno to donghyuck when the aforementioned boy wasn’t around. He sure hoped he didn’t do that.

 

“hey, lele. do you know if jaemin is coming back this year?” a lot guys on the basketball team were friends with jaemin and acquaintanced with chenle, so renjun assumed he might’ve known some tea about jaemin’s return. he had left school towards the end of sophomore year because of a serious back injury and had to recover for a long time. no one knew when or if he would return but if there was one person who would know, renjun assumed it would have to be chenle. the younger boy shrugged, “not that i know of. if he’s here, he must have fully recovered. you should ask jeno.” renjun nodded, sparing the unknown boy a second glance.

  


* * *

 

 

jaemin would be a liar if he said he wasn’t excited to return to school. jaemin was sick and tired of being sick and tired. “okay, jaemin. remember to take your medicine after you eat your lunch. and if you start to ache just go to the nurse and ask them to send you home. but make sure you call me and let me know you left. don’t~” “i’ll be fine, mother. don’t worry about me. worry about your new job,” jaemin stated, standing in front of his mother’s car window.

 

the older woman sighed with a smile. “let me care for you.” jaemin smiled back, “i don’t need to be cared for anymore. the recovery period is over. I’ll see you at six, right?” his mother nodded, “have a good day!” jaemin began his walk into school, not caring who saw him converse with his mother. yes, jaemin was a mommy’s boy and he would never be ashamed. there was a lot she put on the line for him, giving him dancing lessons just because he asked one, taking him to competitions and using all her spare time just to care for him. tt was hard to be a single parent, so jaemin made sure he appreciated her every chance he could.

“jaemin is back!” donghyuck yelled as he spotted his best friend from down the hall. jaemin smiled, “i’ll be here all day.” mark rolled his eyes but greeted his friend with a hug anyway. “it’s been a while.” jaemin nodded, “i don’t want to be serious today. let’s just joke around as usual, okay?” jaemin was being babied by his mother enough. he didn’t need his friends to be on top of him as well.

 

“why would you wear something so controversial yet so brave, jaemin?” donghyuck asked after mark went his separate way to his senior homeroom. jaemin was wearing a pink jumper, jeans, and a leather jacket on top of the aforementioned jumper. jaemin chuckled, “lucas gave it to me when he visited.” lucas was a friend of mark’s who frequented the groups hang outs when jaemin wasn’t in the hospital. donghyuck shrugged, “you look better than him in it. but i’d look better than you.” “you always look better than me, haechan,” jaemin stated, just to indulge in his friend’s wild fantasies. jaemin always looked better than anyone in the school. even the teachers could tell you that.

 

after being away for so long, jaemin had obviously matured and changed, nicely at that. he accepted the stares from the girls (and boys) as he and donghyuck walked side by side to their junior homeroom. “seems like your hot shit,” jeno joked as jaemin entered his homeroom. “nothing’s changed,” jaemin smirked. “yeah not even your ego. it’s bigger than zhong chenle’s head.” the two friends laughed. jaemin sighed. he missed his friends.

  
  
  


sitting in an eighty minute chemistry class was a drag, especially for someone who had been out of school for almost a year. the teacher’s words went in one ear and out the other as jaemin flickered his gaze around the room recognising no one except for a friend of jeno’s. jaemin didn’t remember his name but the boy across the room was definitely much cuter from the last time jaemin saw him.

 

the boy looked up from his notebook, maintaining eye contact with jaemin and smiling. jaemin winked back.


	2. i can't help but care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun doesn’t understand why jeno’s ex is so obsessed with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: feelings - hayley kiyoko

**_moomin babes, GROUP_ **

 

**lele** : good morning my beautiful friends

 

**junjun** : beautiful friends?

**junjun** : have you seen lee jeno at half past five in the morning?

 

**lele** : no

**lele** : and i won’t ask why you have

 

**jenjen** : it’s better if you don’t

 

**jiji** : that sounds sus

 

**jenjen** : ur making it sound sus

 

**junjun** : what did you want chenle

 

**lele** : ??? to text my friends at this ungodly hour

 

**junjun** : okay well you can have fun staying awake

**junjun** : i’m going back to sleep

 

**jiji** : did you forget we have school today

 

**junjun** : did you forget i live closer to the school than you cavemen

 

**jenjen** : oof that was so rude

 

**junjun** : goodnight

 

**_RENJUN LEFT THE CHAT_ **

 

**lele** : great! now that he’s gone, let’s talk!!

 

**jiji** : about what? another “funny” basketball moment

 

**lele** : all of my basketball stories are funny

**lele** : how dare you say something so rude like that

 

**_CHENLE LEFT THE CHAT_ **

 

**jenjen** : finally

**jenjen** : peace and quiet

 

**jiji** : i agree

 

**_JENO ADDED CHENLE, RENJUN_ **

 

**jiji** : how did i know it wouldn’t last

 

**junjun** : my suffering will never end

 

**jenjen** : no it will not

 

**lele** : what lunch do you guys have

 

**jenjen** : third period

 

**lele** : oh……

**lele** : jisung, renjun wbu

 

**junjun** : fifth

 

**jiji** : seventh period… unfortunately

 

**lele** : why is it unfortunate?? i’ll be there ;)

 

**jiji** : exactly.

 

**jenjen** : jisung,,,, why would u say smth so controversial yet so brave

 

**jiji** : it’s 20gayteen.

**jiji** : the gays are unstoppable

 

**junjun** : i’ll drink to that bro

 

**jenjen** : it’s 6:30 am

**jenjen** : and we're all gay so we're all unstoppable

 

**junjun** : it’s never too early to drink

**junjun** : a refreshing glass of milk with a plate of pancakes

 

**lele** : renjun ur such a baby

 

**junjun** : No One Calls Huang Renjun, Prince Of China, A BABY

 

**lele** : except for me

**lele** : don’t forget, i’m next in line for the throne

 

**jenjen** : i think that joke has gone too far

 

**jiji** : a joke can never go too far

 

**jenjen** : why do i even still waste my time w u ppl

 

**lele** : bc renjun used to love u

 

**junjun** : CHENLE WHAT THE FUCK

**junjun** : you just disrespected a future us army soldier !!

**junjun** : don’t even look at me in school

 

**jenjen** : don’t overreact renjun

 

**junjun** : He Exposed Me

**junjun** : i have blackmail chenle… and u won’t like it

 

**lele** : oh pls that video of me throwing a rock at some 3 y/o is old news!!

 

**junjun** : you dont know what i know

 

**jiji** : you should be scared lele

 

**lele** : hmm

**lele** : only bc you said to be

 

**junjun** : ridiculous

**junjun** : oblivious

 

**lele** : hush

 

**junjun** : im blocking you guys

 

**lele** : you gays*

 

**_RENJUN MUTED THE CHAT_ **

 

 

 

 

 

 

the teen sighed as he put his phone away in his pocket. he had been texting his friends from the moment he woke up to the time he entered the high school grounds. renjun lied about having lunch fifth period. today was wednesday which meant he had art club after school. sitting with his friends would mess with his creative flow. most of the time renjun sat in the art room drawing tiny moomins on the wooden tables but some days he actually completed a work that ended up looking nice enough to take home.

“look at what the wind blew in,” renjun heard an unfamiliar voice tease from behind him. renjun made an annoyed facial expression, getting ready to flame the person but when he turned around he almost screamed. it was na jaemin, the same jaemin who took a break from school near the end of sophomore year. he looked very different from the last time renjun saw him.

“okay... what do you want?” renjun asked. he had no idea why this boy was standing in front of him. renjun and jaemin were barely friends. jeno introduced the two but jaemin was better friends with jeno. “i can’t say hello to an old classmate?” jaemin asked, with a sly smile. “no, you can’t.”

renjun continued down the hallway towards the junior lockers. he knew jaemin would end up following him since the other boy would have to go to his locker if he hadn’t already but it was the only place renjun could think of. it was too early for his first period classroom to be unlocked.

renjun collected his chemistry and trigonometry books and headed to the library. at least his friends wouldn’t dare to look for him in there. none except jisung but jisung probably didn’t care about renjun enough to go chasing after him that early in the morning when he would see him later in the day anyway.

renjun took the empty window seat where the sun was making the cushion warm. he didn’t mind that he would get hot in his school blazer from the sun hitting him. it was a comfortable seat where he could be peaceful. unfortunately for renjun, the peace only lasted long enough for him to make two sketches that he ended up erasing. renjun looked up to see who was blocking the sun from hitting him, seeing na jaemin, for the second time that morning. “hello jaemin,” renjun sighed, sitting up. “to what do i owe thee?” “just wondering if you did the homework for english.”

at that, renjun gathered his belongings and stood up. “i don’t give out homework for free.” “i can give you 20,000 won?” “i don’t give out homework for money either. have fun with your zero!” renjun left promptly after that, hurrying to the science and math hallway to make sure he wasn’t late for first period chemistry.

renjun couldn’t help but wonder why jaemin was bothering him about homework. couldn’t the other boy go bother jeno about it or something? renjun didn’t think he was that great at english that people would want his homework, if he was being honest. he did get to skip the senior level of english and enter college level so he supposed that thought was contradictory. But why would jaemin need his work if he was in the senior class as well? jaemin and chenle were the best english speakers renjun knew (and that was saying a lot for chenle because there were a lot of times when he blanked out in korean. renjun didn’t know how english would stick on top of korean and mandarin for the both of them).

when the lesson started, renjun tried to put his full attention towards the teacher. it had only been two weeks since the start of the school year, meaning the first two weeks were just receiving the class syllabus and returning it the next day, mixed in with some exercises of teachers getting to know their new students. it was a drag, as his chemistry teacher had knew him and most of the class from earth science last year, but not some of the new students that just started attending the school this year (and returning students, re: jaemin).

renjun wanted to give himself a paper cut across his eyes every time he thought of that disgusting six letter name. why know does his brain choose to obsess over a boy he hardly knew? a boy who didn’t care about anyone but himself? if there was anyone renjun should have a crush on, it should still be jeno. too bad they worked that out though. maybe jeno would have been a good boyfriend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“donghyuck, you’re a serial liar.” jaemin stated, sitting at the lunch table. it was currently third period, the time jaemin, jeno and donghyuck had their forty minutes of lunch. “what made you come to that conclusion, sir?” donghyuck asked, opening whatever was inside the aluminum foil he set on the table. 

“you said huang renjun would give me his english answers.” jeno laughed at that, making jaemin give him a confused facial expression. “why is that funny?” “injun doesn’t give out his homework, not even if you offered him something moomin related.” “moomin?” jaemin asked, incredulously. jeno shrugged, “there are about a dozen other people in english five that would’ve sent you the homework. but don’t you have an a minus in that class anyway?”

donghyuck sighed loudly, “enough. i’m having a brain freeze just thinking about english. can we please talk about literally anything else?” “what else is there to talk about? how’s mark?” jaemin asked and jeno pinched him. “oi, what the hell?” jeno frowned, “now he’s never going to shut up!” donghyuck began to tell some story from last year about him and mark at a party that jaemin had heard so many times he could probably recite it.

jeno gathered his trash and put his backpack on his shoulder. “this is what you started, na jaemin.” he stated, pointedly looking at donghyuck scrolling through his photos app talking about pictures he had taken of mark that weekend. jaemin sighed and got up as well. “you done?” donghyuck rolled his eyes, “i will never stop talking about mark. at least i can get a boyfriend.”

jaemin pushed donghyuck playfully. “why commit to one person when you can hook up with someone and be done with it?” “because some people have this thing called _feelings_ ,” jeno replied. “look up the definition some time. you must have forgotten the meaning from last year.” “i thought you were over that, lee jeno,” jaemin rolled his eyes. “it still hurts sometimes na jaemin!”

jeno began to speed walk, leaving his two friends by the trash cans and heading towards his next class. donghyuck shrugged, turning a separate way as well, leaving jaemin alone. “and then there was one,” he sighed to himself, beginning his trek across the school to trigonometry.

  
  
  


five classes later and renjun was now sitting in english iv, bored out of his mind. he finished the assignment on the whiteboard and had to wait for the rest of the class to finish so they could go over the answers with the teacher.

renjun scanned the room with a neutral expression, a habit the teen was sure would never go away. He tried not to have a resting bitch face, as chenle called it but it was hard. renjun didn’t mind if he looked intimidating though. He was fine with his small group of friends.

a few minutes later renjun made eye contact with na jaemin who previously looked like he was two seconds away from walking out the window of boredom as well. the boy across the room winked making renjun advert his gaze. he still was stuck on the earlier events of this morning. the homework really wasn’t even that hard… why would jaemin need his answers? maybe it was just an excuse to talk to him? renjun shook his head mentally. jaemin didn’t talk to certain people unless he was forced to.

“renjun, are you going to answer the question?” the teacher asked, making him come back to reality. “sorry, what number are we on?” “number one, letter c.” “i can answer the question,” someone replied before renjun could tell his own answer. when he looked up, jaemin had his hand raised with a smug smile. renjun narrowed his eyes at him in annoyance. who did jaemin think he was? “go ahead, jaemin.”

_of course_ , renjun thought. why had he even thought that jaemin had changed since he’s been away in recovery? he was the same conceited boy who lived for attention. it would always be that way.

  
  
  


after class, renjun stood by his desk in the empty classroom and packed his things slowly. he still had ten minutes before art club so renjun decided that he could take a walk to the professor lounge and his english teacher a couple of questions about the recent lesson. 

“hey, renjun.” the familiar voice of jaemin greeted, standing in front of him. renjun didn’t answer, waiting for jaemin to inform him of his unwanted presence. “i know you stare at me during class. You should take a picture, honestly. they last longer.”

renjun scoffed, throwing his backpack onto his shoulders. “i’d burn the picture before it could even be printed.” jaemin shrugged with his hot but annoying as fuck smile. “how about i give you my instagram? at least then you won’t have to take your own pictures.” “why do you think i would want your instagram? you already talk about yourself twenty-four seven.” jaemin laughed at that yet continued to write down his social media as if it were an autograph. 

jaemin put the post it note in renjun’s hand. “don’t lose it.” renjun rolled his eyes and left the classroom. the other boy had wasted his time. Renjun would get to art club right on the dot. he sighed and looked at the pink paper in his right hand. was he really going to do this? after a moment of silence renjun frowned as he pulled out his phone. he was going to do it. he just hoped he wouldn’t regret it.

  
  
  


**_moomins babes, GROUP_ **

 

**lele** : anyone seen renjun today????

 

**jenjen** : yeah in sociology

 

**jiji** : oh

**jiji** : thought he was a ghost or smth

 

**junjun** : i’m literally in this gc

 

**lele** : there you are!!

**lele** : we’re going to peachwave if you wanna join us

 

**jenjen** : i never got that invite

 

**lele** : well there it is

 

**junjun** : specify “we”

 

**lele** : me and jisung

**lele** : now me, jisung, and jeno

 

**jenjen** : i never said yes

 

**lele** : okay so still just me and jisung

**jenjen** : okay yeah i’ll stay home

 

**junjun** : i'm still in school

 

**lele** : whatever, more froyo for jwi and i

 

**jiji** : as long as ur paying…

 

**lele** : im not your sugar daddy just bc i’m rich jisung

 

**jiji** : i make the rules around here chenle

 

**junjun** : wow

 

**jenjen** : idek what to say to that

 

**lele** : me either

 

**junjun** : hey jeno

**junjun** : are you and jaemin on good terms?

 

**jenjen** : it’s half and half

**jenjen** : …

**jenjen** : why

 

**junjun** : no reason

**junjun** : just wondering why he was talking to me today

 

**jenjen** : oh

**jenjen** : he mentioned to donghyuck that he asked you for your english hmwk this morning

**jenjen** : you didn’t give it right

 

**junjun** : no what do i look like to you

**junjun** : a broke man

 

**jenjen** : i won’t answer that so you can keep what’s left of your dignity

**jenjen** : but did he say anything else

 

**junjun** : .....no

 

**jenjen** : okay

**jenjen** : don’t let him mess with you

 

**junjun** : i won’t dw

 

**jenjen** : i’m serious

**jenjen** : ik what he’s like

 

**junjun** : i know jeno

 

**jenjen** : okay

**jenjen** : i trust you

 

**lele** : that was srs

 

**jenjen** : well

 

**junjun** : okay well

**junjun** : i'm in art club so ttyl xox bella thorne

 

**jenjen** : dont draw another moomin

 

**junjun** : i will now paint a picasso-esque moomin for your wall jeno

 

**jenjen** : i’ll burn it

 

**junjun** : you can’t burn the holy grail jeno

 

**jenjen** : watch me

 

**jiji** : how are you 17

 

**junjun** : stfu you're like nine

 

**jiji** : i’m eleven so shut the fuck up

 

**_RENJUN MUTED THE CHAT_ **

  
  
  


**_DM FROM JAEMINA_ **

 

**jaemina** : hey hey renjunie

 

**huang_renjun** : what do you want

 

**jaemina** : to talk w a cute boy for a while

 

**huang_renjun** : go look in a mirror then

 

**jaemina** : did u just call me cute

 

**huang_renjun** : don’t flatter yourself

**huang_renjun** : i’m busy, goodbye

 

**jaemina** : bye bye renjunie

 

**huang_renjun** : dont call me that

 

**jaemina** : okay renjunie

 

**huang_renjun** : i will deadass block you

 

**jaemina** : byebye ♡♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof renjun lied to jeno already ://  
> i really need to reread these chapters before i post them yikes


	3. you say i'm in love, i say you're a fool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun can't seem to escape the last person he wants to see or think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: you say i'm in love - bane's world

**_DM WITH JAEMINA_ **

 

 **jaemina** : good morning renjunie

 

 **huang_renjun** : it’s seven thirty in the fucking morning

 **huang_renjun** : it’s also saturday

 

 **jaemina** : i can’t talk to a friend at seven thirty am?

 

 **huang_renjun** : NO

 

 **jaemina** : ):

 **jaemina** : but im lonely

 

 **huang_renjun** : your dreams will keep you company

 **huang_renjun** : dont you have other friends

 

 **jaemina** : fine

 **jaemina** : im only awake bc i have dance today

 

 **huang_renjun** : i dont remember asking what you were doing today

 

 **jaemina** : thought u might want to kno

 **jaemina** : maybe come by w a surprise

 

 **huang_renjun** : definitely fucking not

 **huang_renjun** : im going back to sleep

 

 **jaemina** : fine

 **jaemina** : i will be back renjunie

 

 **huang_renjun** : didn’t i tell you to stop fucking calling me that

 **huang_renjun** : leave before i block you

 

 **jaemina** : byebye ♡♡

  
  
  
  


renjun groaned and rolled over to his left shoulder. _annoying jaemin_ , he thought. now he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep. renjun grabbed his phone again and sat up in his messy bed from the previous night of sleep to check his imessage.

 

chenle had organised a hangout but jeno and jisung were busy. renjun shrugged to himself and answered back saying that he was free. sometimes renjun didn’t like when he knew his friends would be alone so he put it upon himself to visit them even if they weren’t expecting them at their house. chenle answered right away, probably because he was getting ready for a seven am basketball practice, telling renjun to go to his house at a little after three pm. that would be more than enough time for renjun to do most of his homework and get ready.

  
  
  
  


for the first four hours of renjun’s solitude, he was actually kind of upset. maybe it was because he was feeling alone or because he was doing confusing ap literature homework but renjun decided that it wasn’t so crazy to think that maybe he missed jaemin. the thought was disgusting but renjun wouldn’t be surprised if that really was the reason. the two teens had been texting for the past two weeks and even though renjun was always rude to jaemin in said texts, the other boy’s online presence was comforting.

 

renjun wondered what kind of dance practice jaemin had. what kind of dancing did jaemin perform? jeno’s other friends, mark and donghyuck, were really good dancers. maybe the two of them danced together since they were good friends. renjun wished he had friends to do the arts with. he wouldn’t put it against his friends to at least attempt painting or singing but renjun didn’t think they’d be as serious about it as he was.

  
  
  
  


**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ JENO ]_ **

 

 **jenjen** : you awake

 

 **junjun** : mhmm

 **junjun** : what happened

 

 **jenjen** : idk just bored

 

 **junjun** : you can come over

 

 **jenjen** : i’m w jwi rn

 **jenjen** : he’s at soccer prac

 

 **junjun** : oh….

 **junjun** : facetime?

 

 **jenjen** : eh

 **jenjen** : i look bad

 

 **juniun** : as if your ugliness determined our friendship

 

 **jenjen** : haha

 **jenjen** : btw.,, whats up w you and jaemin

 

 **junjun** : ????

 **junjun** : nothing

**READ 11:46**

 

 **junjun** : jeno i swear to you nothing will happen

 **junjun** : all he did was ask for english hmwk that i never gave him

 

 **jenjen** : i trust you injun

 **jenjen** : he did a lot in our...... “relationship”

 

 **junjun** : wdym

 

 **jenjen** : one week he would be super clingy

 **jenjen** : the next week he acted like we were only friends or he didn’t know me

 **jenjen** : it was rlly confusing so i just broke it off

 **jenjen** : after that we just agreed to hook up every once in a while but i stopped

 **jenjen** : i didn’t want any feelings for him to come back

 **jenjen** : i don’t want you to waste your first real relationship on a dick like him

 

 **junjun** : … maybe he’s changed

 

 **jenjen** : and what makes you think that?

 

 **junjun** : idk… it’s been a long time

 **junjun** : i’ve changed, you’ve changed from last year

 

 **jenjen** : yeah that’s true ig

 **jenjen** : but remember what i said, okay?

 **jenjen** : i just don’t want him messing with you

 

 **junjun** : ofc jeno

 

 **jenjen** : alright

 **jenjen** : ttyl xox bella thorne

 

 **junjun** : thanks for caring

 

 **jenjen** : always

  
  
  
  


renjun sighed. how could he let himself lie to jeno like that again? he would never be able to look at his friend straight in the eyes without feeling any kind of guilt and renjun hated that. he knew that he should tell jeno about the whole instagram thing before it blows up in his face but renjun couldn’t muster any ounce of courage to actually send the damned text.

 

a knock on his bedroom door made renjun almost jump out his skin as the silence prior to the aforementioned action was deafening.

 

renjun opened the door to see his father standing there in his scrubs. “i’m heading out to work, okay?” the older man informed his son, still standing in the doorway. renjun nodded with a confused facial expression. “okay… you usually leave without saying anything though.” his dad shrugged as he began to head down the stairs, “just thought i should let you know. mom is out on a work trip and won’t be back until thursday.”

 

renjun nodded at that. his mother usually wasn’t home anyway since her job as a flight attendant required her presence at the airport everyday. she was usually only home for korean and chinese holidays and the rare times she just didn’t have to go in to work. renjun would say he missed her but now he was used to not seeing her a lot. “alright. i’m going out with a friend in a few, in case you cared,” renjun muttered as he watched his dad walk out the front door.

 

renjun returned to his room, finally deciding to abandon his homework. he managed to do four periods worth in those four hours but he knew that as the year progressed, homework would take double that time.

 

he ignored the texts from chenle in favour of two dms from jaemin.

  
  
  


**_DM WITH JAEMINA_ **

 

 **jaemina** : hello for the second time today renjunie

 

 **huang_renjun** : hey

 

 **jaemina** : oh u replied!!

 **jaemina** : u busy????

 

 **huang_renjun** : yes if that is hard to believe

 

 **jaemina** : oh ):

 **jaemina** : so u can’t hang w me

 

 **huang_renjun** : i literally just said i was busy

 

 **jaemina** : u can skip

 

 **huang_renjun** : well i’m actually a nice friend and don’t cancel last minute so

 

 **jaemina** : ur no fun babe

 

 **huang_renjun** : who exactly are you calling babe

 

 **jaemina** : the cute boy reading this

 

 **huang_renjun** : shut the fuck up

 

 **jaemina** : y are u so mean to me renjunie

 **jaemina** : receive my infinite love for u

 

 **huang_renjun** : …

 **huang_renjun** : i’m one button away from blocking you so knock it off

 

 **jaemina** : hmph someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed

 

 **huang_renjun** : i wonder who woke me up to put me in a bad mood

 

 **jaemina** : do u want me to come and fix ur bad mood baby

 

 **huang_renjun** : gtg bye!

  


**_PRIVATE MESSAGE [ CHENLE ]_ **

 

 **lele** : ni hao injun

 **lele** : meet me at the peachwave near my house!!

 

 **junjun** : okay

 **junjun** : are you sure it’ll be just us

 

 **lele** : 100%

 **lele** : you gonna confess your undying love and support for me????

 

 **junjun** : when pigs fly chenle

 **junjun** : i’ll be there in thirty

 **junjun** : riding my penny board

 

 **lele** : egg citing!!

 **lele** : i’ll ride mine too :)

 

 **junjun** : copycat

 

 **lele** : i just wanna be like the kool kids :/

 

 **junjun** : i’m facepalming at your cringe lele

 

 **lele** : that means my job is done

 **lele** : see you there :00

  
  
  
  


renjun had already left his house, getting to the frozen yogurt store before chenle. he wasn’t sure if the place was just a rendezvous or where he and chenle were supposed to hang out for the day but he entered taking a seat anyway. he kept his head down and played on his phone, in the rare event that someone from school might see him and try to strike up conversation. he doubted that would happen because renjun could barely talk to himself but you could never be too prepared.

 

“hey renjun!” chenle’s familiar voice greeted. renjun gave a small wave as his friend sat down. “you wanna buy anything?” he asked, taking out his wallet. renjun nodded but put his hand over chenle’s, “you can’t pay for me, though.” chenle frowned, “why not? we’re friends.” “yeah, but i have my own money, lele.” renjun followed his friend to the selections and chose the most basic vanilla flavour and added crushed oreo as his topping. 15,000 won was kind of expensive but it was worth the price.

 

“i feel like i haven’t been seeing you,” chenle started, sitting down across from renjun. renjun could only shrug. he didn’t really know what to say. “it’s been a rough school week.” chenle nodded. “i understand. is senior year super hard? you know, being a junior already scares me. next year i’m gonna be leaving. not only school but jisung too.” “what does jisung have to do with you being a senior next year?” renjun inquired, sticking the spoon in his ice cream. chenle kept his gaze on the ice cream below him, messing with the rainbow sprinkles. “well… we’re kind of dating? all i did was tell him i liked him.” renjun gasped, “kind of?! and you didn’t tell me or jeno?” chenle hummed, “i think jeno knows already. honestly you’re kind of slow on everything, injun.” renjen rolled his eyes and hit chenle playfully. “finally. jisung is the slow one for not knowing about your obvious crush on him.”

 

chenle laughed but changed the conversation onto renjun. “so is there anyone who caught your eye?” he asked. now it was renjun’s turn to be shy. “can i confess something?” he asked, switching to mandarin. it didn’t make much difference because renjun knew there might’ve been some multilingual people in the shop but speaking his natural tongue made him feel more comfortable with topics as such. “of course,” chenle set his own spoon down, invested in the serious tone of renjun’s voice. “i’ve been talking to someone. and he’s a really bad person to be talking to at the moment.” it took chenle a few seconds to think through all the people he knew until he could finally figure out who renjun was talking about. “na jaemin?” “yes and i already know what you’re thinking but—” “turn around, renjun.”

 

renjun followed his friend’s direction and almost screamed at the man standing behind him. “huang renjun. a pleasure to see you here,” jaemin smiled, moving a chair from a nearby table to sit with the other two friends.

 

“na jaemin. what… are you doing here?” renjun asked, mildly upset. “it’s a yogurt store open to the public. i am the public. i’m meeting a friend too.” renjun rolled his eyes, shooting chenle a look of exasperation but chenle returned with a look of amusement. “so jaemin,” chenle started, returning to korean. “i didn’t know you and injun were friends.”

 

 _low blow chenle_ , renjun thought, stabbing his frozen yogurt with his spoon. didn’t chenle know renjun had a black belt taekwondo? “injun? what a cute nickname,” jaemin smiled, turning to renjun. “okay, well,” renjun clapped as he stood. “chenle and i were actually going somewhere so we should probably skate over there, right?” chenle chuckled, “yeah, that’s a good idea. see you in school jaemin.” the older boy gave a wave as the two friends mounted their penny boards and left towards chenle’s house.

 

“what the fuck, chenle?” renjun cursed in mandarin. chenle laughed, stopping on his board to lean on his knees. renjun didn’t care how contagious chenle’s laugh was, the previous situation was not funny. “you! and na jaemin! jeno is gonna combust into flames, just wait ‘till you tell him.” “that’s the thing,” renjun stated, taking his shoes off at the front door of chenle’s house. “i can’t tell him. he’d disown me.” before chenle could answer he greeted his mother who was sitting in the study near the staircase. “hello chenle. how are you renjun? we haven’t seen you here in a while.” renjun returned a short but friendly smile. “i’m good.” chenle’s mother nodded, “if you ever get hungry or need anything just call me.” the boys agreed and hurried to chenle’s room on the next floor so they could continue talking without eavesdroppers.

 

“okay back to your new love life,” chenle started, taking a seat at his desk while renjun sat on his bed, “when did you and jaemin start talking?” “two weeks ago. it was the day after he asked me for my english homework.” chenle smiled deviously, “give me your phone. where do you talk to jaemin?” “instagram. and i’m not giving you my phone.” “do you want to date him or not, renjun?!” “...yes! no! ugh, i don’t know!” renjun complained, falling onto his back. “jeno will literally skin me alive when he finds out i lied to him.” chenle shrugged, “so don’t tell him.” renjun gave chenle a look. “that will make it even worse!”

 

chenle brought a hand to his chin, feigning contemplation. “how about you tell a fake lie? like… tell jeno that jaemin keeps trying to talk you so jeno won’t think you actually have a crush on jaemin.” renjun took a moment to think of the suggestion. “zhong chenle, i can’t believe i’m saying this but you just may be a genius.” chenle smiled, holding his hand out. “i already knew that. but i was being serious. phone!” renjun handed it over reluctantly, leaning on chenle’s side as the younger teen opened his instagram app. “dating 101 says—” “chenle, you just got a boyfriend, what could you possibly know about dating?” renjun interrupted, looking up at his friend.

 

“a lot of stuff. buzzfeed and cosmopolitan helped.” renjun scoffed, he was going to die today.

  
  
  


**_DM WITH JAEMINA_ **

 

 **huang_renjun** : hey nana

 

 **jaemina** : hmm inch resting

 **jaemina** : u have a nickname for me

 

 **huang_renjun** : should i not?

 

 **jaemina** : no i like it

 **jaemina** : how r u

 

 **huang_renjun** : still with chenle

 **huang_renjun** : he’s boring tho

 **huang_renjun** : how are you

 

 **jaemina** : better talking w u

 

 **huang_renjun** : how would u like to exchange numbers

 

 **jaemina** : ....

 **jaemina** : what for

 

 **huang_renjun** : facetime, duh

 

 **jaemina** : ooo renjunie i didn’t know u were that kinda guy

 

 **huang_renjun** : there are a lot of things you don’t know about me na jaemin

 

 **jaemina** : i’ll figure you out huang renjun

  
  
  


“see? now, all you have to do is give him your number and soon enough, you’ll have a boyfriend!” chenle smiled as if he won a prize. “i still don’t know if i want to date him and you didn’t make the choice any easier!” renjun complained, snatching his phone back and exiting the instagram app.

 

“but now you’re in a better spot than before! honestly, where would you be without me, renjun?” “dead in a ditch at the hands of lee jeno.”


	4. your hand still holds me warmly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> renjun and jaemin find themselves in a tiny predicament. [part one]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: thank you - got7

school the next monday was beyond awkward for renjun. he could barely sit in front of jeno without averting his gaze or stuttering and he was sure his friend would confront him about it soon. jeno was a very smart guy. it wasn’t like renjun to avoid eye contact or be careful with his words about people, especially his best friends. renjun could only keep his distance from jeno for so long. he had the entire school day, in which renjun didn’t sit near jeno because of last names but after school would cause a problem. the friend group was going to attend chenle’s basketball game to cheer for him which meant jeno would definitely say something. it also meant that jaemin would be there because he probably had some friends on the team too. _just great_ , renjun thought, after leaving his first period class.

 

“renjun!” a familiar voice called as renjun passed through the sophomore hallway. “what are you doing on this side of the school?” jisung asked, following by his older friend. “trying to get to my next class. i always go this way,” renjun stated. the younger boy gave him an skeptical look and stayed by his side. “i know you don’t have class right now. you have a free because you’re in two ap classes.” renjun rolled his eyes, “okay but you have no free periods because you’re a sophomore. you’re going to get a detention and miss the lesson.” jisung scoffed at renjun’s failed attempt at scolding him for skipping class. “as if i really cared about my education.”

 

renjun couldn’t think of another snarky comeback to reply to his friend who was just as sarcastic so renjun stayed quiet. “exactly. where are you headed?” jisung asked. “art room. there’s usually no teacher during second period.” when the two friends got there, renjun took a small canvas and set it on a stand near the window seat. “sit over there, jwi.” renjun commanded while he retrieved basic paints from the closet.

 

“hey, slow down, jun.” jisung did as his elder said but still worried. he had never seen renjun in such a frantic state and wasn’t sure what he should do. “i can’t. i just… i need to do something before i go to the roof and jump off from guilt.” jisung watched as renjun mixed the red and blue paint in a distressed manner. “why exactly are you feeling guilty, renjun?” “i don’t know…” renjun knew exactly why he was feeling guilty. was a surprise that jisung didn’t know. whatever chenle knew eventually got to jisung, then to jeno, finally to renjun and it was a never ending cycle.

 

the brush strokes from renjun’s messy painting only seemed to stress him out even more as he was too much of a perfectionist. all of renjun’s thoughts and worries were catching up to him. in a second or two he’d be a crying mess in front of his most judgemental friend and he would never be able to live it down.

 

“renjun…. are you crying?” jisung asked, standing above renjun who was now sitting on the floor watching as the paint from his brush dripped onto the floor. “no. i don’t cry. why would i be crying?” renjun laughed as he sniffled.

 

jisung took the paintbrush from renjun’s clenched fist and set it in the sink before taking a seat next to him. there was a moment of silence before either friend said anything. “you’re probably judging me so hard right now. sorry,” renjun didn’t know what he was apologising for. probably for being a big baby. “i’m not judging you, renjun. we all have to cry sometimes. just tell me what’s going on.”

 

renjun inhaled, “it’s a long story.” jisung looked at the nearest clock. “well, we’ve got twenty minutes.”

 

it took fifteen of those twenty minutes for renjun to tell jisung the whole story and express his discomfort with the situation. renjun was grateful he was with jisung at the moment. he was quiet but renjun knew he was listening and would have good insight when it was his turn to talk.

 

there was another short silence as renjun assumed jisung was gathering his thoughts. “okay, well. you’ll have to tell jeno.” renjun almost threw up at the very idea. “he’ll be upset but he’ll be furious if you wait longer. it doesn’t have to be today, but it should be soon,” jisung suggested.  “what am i even supposed to say to him? i know you told me not to talk to your shitty ex but i did it anyway and now i might be in love him so you should probably be happy for me? he’d literally kick my ass, jisung!”

 

the younger boy sighed, “if you really want me to be honest here, there’s nothing i can do to help you.” renjun scoffed but he knew that jisung was right. “if you know that you eventually want to pursue a relationship with jaemin, you’ll have to tell jeno everything. and i mean everything because the entire world and their cats know that you like to sugarcoat things and make a situation worse for yourself.” before renjun could answer with a witty comeback the bell rang, signalling the end of second period. “where are you going now?” jisung asked, grabbing his bag from the window seat. “lunch but i should probably just stay in here… if i see jeno i might explode.”

 

jisung rolled his eyes. “whatever. don’t forget what i said and don’t bail on chenle’s game just because jeno will be there. it’s supposed to be a big one and he needs everyone’s support.” “don’t make me feel more guilty. chenle is the one who put me in this mess,” renjun muttered but jsung left before he could hear the comment.

  
  
  
  


**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ RENJUN ]_ **

 

**jaemin** : renjunie do u have third lunch

 

**renjun** : yeah. why?

**jaemin** : me too !!

**jaemin** : come to the cafe

 

**renjun** : ….

**renjun** : i can’t, i have an art project to work on

 

**jaemin** : oh cool

**jaemin** : so u’ll be in the art room?

 

**renjun** : yes.

 

**jaemin** : don’t move babe♡♡

 

**renjun** : don’t call me that.

  
  
  
  


jaemin ignored his friends confused stares as he grabbed his bag from the chair next to him. “where are you going?” donghyuck asked, looking up at jaemin. “meeting up with someone. cross your fingers for your favourite hoe!” jaemin smiled. he tried to ignore jeno’s dramatic eye roll but couldn’t. “is there a problem with that, jeno?”

 

his friend was silent for a second. “it’s just a little bit suspicious to me, that’s all.” jaemin raised an eyebrow, “what do you mean by that?” he took a seat again, interested in what jeno was going to say. “you come back to school and everyone is all over you for weeks. then renjun asks me why you’re talking to him and now you’re going to ‘meet with someone’?” jeno stated, using air quotations. “if i didn’t know any better, i’d say you were going to meet with renjun.”

 

“i’d say that you’re delusional, lee jeno.” jaemin patted his friend’s head and made his way to the art room. jaemin knew that he probably shouldn’t have lied to jeno but if he didn’t already know, that meant renjun hadn’t told anyone the two of them were talking. jaemin could understand that, he supposed. maybe he wanted the two of them to be a secret. or maybe renjun was still closeted. after a few more minutes of thinking, jaemin shook his head at that thought. he remembered when renjun came out on instagram in their sophomore year. jaemin supposed it wouldn’t hurt to ask why he hadn’t told anyone.

 

the art room was silent with the exception of barely audible singing and music coming from what jaemin assumed was renjun’s phone. “fancy seeing you here, renjun,” jaemin put his bag down at the window seat as renjun shrugged, putting down his brush. “i guess.” the other boy stayed silent, looking between his painting and where jaemin was sitting before grabbing different coloured paints from the shelves. “stay there for a moment,” he commanded, carefully mixing the acrylic on the recycled newspaper.

 

“awh, are you going to draw me, injun?” jaemin asked sarcastically. renjun hummed, “you’ll see, give me a few minutes.” the silence seemed deafening, even as a violin concerto recording drowned the room from renjun’s music app. it made jaemin just want to walk up to the other boy and kiss him forever. but that’s not the kind of person jaemin was. nor renjun, probably. jaemin watched as renjun’s gaze moved from the canvas to the sight in front of him, focused only on what he was painting. the way his eyebrows were knitted together, the way he bit his lip so hard in concentration that there would probably be a bruise later.

 

jaemin knew he liked renjun. renjun was cute, in a conventionally pretty kind of way but this atmosphere made him think of something… different. jaemin didn’t commit to one person, he didn’t swing that way. renjun made jaemin want to try something else. “okay, i finished. come over here, nana.” jaemin smiled, “you called me nana.”

 

renjun rolled his eyes, “don’t think about it too much. you may hurt the brain cells you don’t have.” jaemin chuckled but his laughs stopped as he took in the painting in front of him. of course, renjun was nowhere near vincent van gogh but he was sure on his way. “renjun… this is amazing. how did you do this?” renjun shrugged, “painting is a coping mechanism, i guess. i do it to pass the time… honestly, you’re the first person to see anything i’ve made besides my parents.” jaemin nodded, careful not to touch the wet paint as he continued to stare at the canvas.

 

“i’d say it’s almost as beautiful as me, but how could i say that when you’re standing right next to me?” “shut the fuck up, jaemin.” renjun blushed, turning away. “what? i don’t lie, renjun.” “sure, jan. what about you, mister na jaemin? surely you have a secret talent too.” renjun proposed, walking towards the window seat. jaemin followed, shaking his head. “not really. it’s not as great as yours, babe.” “don’t say nicknames like that,” renjun scolded. jaemin smirked, “why not?” “you know why, jaemin. we shouldn’t even be doing this.”

 

“you’re the one who asked for _my_ number,” jaemin proclaimed, sliding closer to renjun. he could feel the other boy tense but ignored it. “technically that was not me. but i’m serious, if jeno finds out, he’ll personally kill both of us.” jaemin hummed. “we’ll just have to make sure he doesn’t find out then, right?” renjun sighed at that, “i’m not sure, jaemin. jeno is one of my best friends… i can’t keep lying to him.”

 

jaemin nodded. he supposed he understood where renjun was coming from. even jaemin knew he wasn’t the kind of guy he’d want to catch feelings for but he couldn’t help the way he was. jaemin didn’t like getting too close to people in romantic relationships. he would rather get it over with and never see them again or occasionally get together to do something. “here’s an offer,” jaemin started, getting up from his spot next to renjun. “i take you on a date this friday. if you have a good time we can work through this. if you don’t, we can end this.”

 

renjun seemed to ponder on the proposition for a moment. “okay... this friday.” renjun held a hand out, as if to seal the deal with a handshake. “we could handshake… but we could also kiss?” jaemin suggested, pointing to his lips. renjun rolled his eyes, leaning into jaemin. for some reason, jaemin felt his heart beat erratically and he actually liked it. “in your desperate dreams, jaemin.” renjun pulled away with a hysterical laugh. “don’t forget the canvas.”

 

never in a million years.

  
  
  
  


**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ CHENLE ]_ **

 

**junjun** : houston we have a problem

 

**lele** : so i was sitting there bbq sauce on my titties

**lele** : uhm…

**lele** : that was for jwi

 

**junjun** : stop watching 20 min vine compilations

**junjun** : anyGay there’s a problem

 

**lele** : more jaemin problems??

 

**junjun** : unfortunately

 

**lele** : text away my whipped friend

 

**junjun** : Not Whipped

**junjun** : he asked me on a date this friday

 

**lele** : PROGRESS

**lele** : what did i say !!

**lele** : call me chenLEGEND

 

**junjun** : dragged it

**junjun** : but i still don’t rlly know what to do with jeno

 

**lele** : Uhhh

**lele** : well what do you think

 

**junjun** : if i truly like jaemin, after the date i’ll tell jeno

**junjun** : but if i don’t then we’re gonna break it off

 

**lele** : yeah good luck w that !!

**lele** : i have to go

 

**junjun** : okay

**junjun** : see you at your game

 

**lele** : ilu bro no homo

 

**_RENJUN MUTED THE CHAT_ **

  
  
  
  


after school renjun rushed home. chenle’s basketball game didn’t start until seven thirty so he had a few hours to spare until then. It took two hours for renjun to finish his english five homework. two hours in which one of the said hours was spent texting jaemin and his group chat with jeno, jisung, and chenle.

 

renjun changed from his school outfit and into a better one since people had already seen him in the previous one. and maybe because he wanted to look good for jaemin, whom he couldn’t sit near or else jeno would be suspicious. not that jeno was not suspicious but he didn’t need to think about it any more than he probably already did. renjun texted the group chat again, to let them know he was going to start walking back to the school and where to meet him when they got there.

 

walking to the school allowed him to clear his mind but if renjun had to be honest, it was pretty hard. the only thing he could think about was seeing jeno for the first time all day, knowing that he’d actually have to talk to him this time. renjun could say, _hey jeno i’ve been talking to jaemin for the past three weeks and he’s actually a really great guy sorry for lying_. or renjun could say, _hey jeno jaemin is the biggest piece of shit you were totally right and i also hate_ him.everyone and their mothers knew renjun would say absolutely nothing about the situation and avoid the topic at all costs when he saw his friend though.

 

“babe, we meet again.” jaemin’s too familiar voice greeted as he stood next to renjun on the ticket line. “jaemin... you shouldn’t be talking to me right now,” renjun admitted, taking his ticket from the person behind the table. “jeno never said we couldn’t talk as friends did he?” renjun sighed. “no, i guess not.” “tell him i was asking about english or something. i took your painting home, by the way.” renjun nodded contently, “did you really mean what you said earlier? you liked it?” “i loved it, babe. i put it on the wall in front of my desk so i can see it all the time,” jaemin smiled.

 

renjun rolled his eyes and looked away to hide his blush. “has anyone ever told you about how cheesy you are?” “what kind of cheese? i prefer swiss.” “shut the fuck up,” renjun laughed. “anyone with a brain knows mozzarella is the best.” jaemin shook his head, “swiss. the holes are the best part!” “the holes are weird and scary. mozzarella cheese is—” renjun watched as jeno walked into the gym with jisung and his two other friends, donghyuck and mark by his side. he shot a look at jaemin and scooted away to a different seat in the bleachers. jaemin followed his gaze and frowned towards renjun. all he could do was shrug.

 

renjun hated to act this way. soon enough it would kill not only him, but one of his friendships as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was getting long so chapter five will pick up immediately where this left off!! ch5 is super long so get ready  
> while you wait, follow my tumblr ( gojcemin ) and twitter ( vldfoxes ) ;^)


	5. first time he kissed a boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after a small argument, renjun finally goes on his date with jaemin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: first time he kissed a boy - kadie elder  
> this is actually longer than i anticipated

“it’s nice to finally see you for once today, renjun,” jeno greeted, taking a seat on his left side. jisung sat on renjun’s right, while donghyuck and mark filled in the spaces to jeno’s left, leaving jaemin at the end. “yeah, uh i’ve just been kind of busy today. you know, those two ap classes are really messing with me.” jeno nodded and renjun chose to ignore the look jisung gave him.

 

“i didn’t know you were here early,” renjun heard donghyuck mention to jaemin. “i anticipated a bigger crowd.” was his only answer. renjun fiddled with his fingers as he watched both teams practice layups and jump shots as warm ups. half of him wanted everyone to slide down a seat so he could sit next to jaemin but the other half wanted to get up and walk back home.

 

the other friends engaged in a heated conversation while renjun and jisung kept quiet and to themselves. renjun knew the younger boy was just waiting for the game to be over so he could go to the peachwave near chenle’s house. it was a group thing the boys had done ever since jisung joined their friend group in jisung’s freshman year but chenle had told renjun it was going to just be the two of them. renjun knew that chenle was probably going to finally ask him out or something of the sort. at least they could date without it being a secret. or he presumed it would be a secret from chenle’s parents. they weren’t as accepting towards their own son as they were to renjun himself which he supposed was kind of contradictory but there wasn’t much renjun could do about that.

 

“do you think chenle will be a starter this game?” jeno asked as the game began, pointing his question more directly towards jisung than renjun. chenle was usually in the starting five but sometimes they sat him on the bench for when they needed someone to bring the score up. jisung shrugged, unsure as well. “we’re playing the rival school so coach will probably save him for later,” renjun answered. jeno nodded and mark commented, “at least he gets to save his energy. i swear that kid is probably high every morning. is he ever calm?” “only when he’s sleeping and even then he’s not quiet. he talks in mandarin when he sleeps,” renjun mentioned as everyone laughed. “how do you know he speaks mandarin when he’s sleeping?” jaemin asked, leaning forward towards renjun. “ever heard of a sleepover?” renjun retorted, keeping his focus on the game.

 

the next three quarters of the game were intense, with the school always two points ahead. subbing players and trying different plays worked to no avail for attempting to increase the score gap but the team had still won, even after their best centre, wong yukhei had fouled out of the game after twenty minutes on the court. after the game most people left but the friend groups stayed to wait for chenle. renjun wasn’t sure who donghyuck, mark and jaemin were waiting for but they joined the circle anyway.

 

“yukhei is really good,” mark commented and everyone else nodded in agreement. “i didn’t know he had that in him, especially against the other centre. i think his name is johnny? i thought they were going to end up fighting!” donghyuck added, as he and jeno imitated the two opponents. “yukhei was kind of cute too,” jaemin interject. donghyuck rolled his eyes, “a gush of air could hit you in the face and you’d call it cute, minnie. learn to get a grip.” mark and jeno laughed at that as jaemin smirked. if he could, renjun would either kiss or slap the smirk off jaemin’s annoyingly hot face.

 

soon enough, the group could hear chenle’s loud screams approach closer from the boys locker room to the gym. “we won!” he shouted, jumping up and down towards to friends. another tall person followed behind him but even in his fourth year of attending the same school, renjun couldn’t place a name to the face.

 

chenle hugged jisung first to which everyone awed just so they would get embarrassed. “how did i play?” chenle asked, striking a pose. “amazing as usual. don’t let your nonexistent fame get to your head, lele.” jisung retorted, flicking chenle’s forehead.

 

“is yukhei coming out now?” the unknown teen asked and chenle nodded. “should be any second, he was just changing out before i left the locker room.” “i’d like to see him change,” jaemin commented. renjun scowled and donghyuck made a fist, “jaemin! stop being gay for five seconds!” “you’re gay too, hyuck!” “we’re all gay! but you’re being too gay!” “what the hell does that even mean?” “i don’t know i just wanted to argue with someone… the atmosphere got too friendly and awkward.” renjun could agree with donghyuck on that.

 

after another five minutes, the only person renjun could assume was yukhei finally made his way towards the friend group, prompting them to leave the gym and make their way to the nearby diner. “this is your first year on the basketball team right, lucas?” jaemin asked. “first year on the basketball team at this school. i transferred here last month, with jungwoo.” renjun nodded, so that was the name of the other guy. no wonder he didn’t know his name. “are you guys like… a thing?” jaemin interrogated. “why do you need to know if they’re dating?” renjun retaliated. “oh, are you jealous, renjunie?” “n-no, i’m not jealous! their relationship is none of your business.”

 

“it’s okay, renjun. we just don’t want a lot of people to know is all,” jungwoo interrupted before jaemin could say anything else. “anyone know where the bathroom is? renjun?” jeno asked, quite suspicious if you had to ask renjun. “just walk straight and make a left.” “maybe you should show me, just in case i get lost.” “uhm… okay.” renjun followed his friend to the bathroom, confused out of his mind as they walked there. why did jeno need him to go with him? couldn’t he have asked donghyuck or something?

 

“renjun, what the hell?” jeno basically spat in renjun’s face. “what do you mean, ‘what the hell’? what the hell is wrong with you?” renjun asked, taking a step back in surprise. “don’t act astonished, renjun. stop asking jaemin all those jealous questions.” renjun gasped so hard he almost choked, “jealous?! who said i was jealous?” jeno scoffed at that. “i’m not fucking blind, renjun! i don’t know what’s going on with you and jaemin. to be honest, i probably don’t ever want to know but it has to stop. right now.”

 

_now is my chance_ , renjun thought. _i can finally come clean about everything for the past months with jaemin!_ “what are you on about? nothing is going on between us, jeno.” f _uck._ jeno nodded with a cynical look. “keep saying whatever helps you sleep at night, but i’m being serious renjun. jaemin is going to break your heart into a million pieces and when it happens, you can’t come crying to me.” jeno walked out of the bathroom, leaving renjun speechless. “what the actual fuck just happened?” he muttered to himself, staring in the mirror.

  
  
  


**_moomin babes, GROUP_ **

 

**jenjen** : how was ur not-so-secret date

 

**junjun** : ^

 

**lele** : ???

 

**jiji** : ???

 

**jenjen** : you know

**jenjen** : when you ditched the group to go to peachwave at half eleven pm

 

**junjun** : as if peachwave was still open

 

**lele** : suddenly i can’t read korean anymore

 

**junjun** : would you like me to translate to chinese for you

 

**lele** : suddenly i’m illiterate

 

**jiji** : suddenly i only read english

 

**jenjen** : dragged it

**jenjen** : srsly what’d u love birds do

 

**lele** : well we did eat ice cream

**lele** : from my freezer

 

**junjun** : what kind :00

 

**jiji** : boring ass vanilla

**jiji** : we all Know mint chocolate chip is superior

 

**junjun** : JISUNG AN INTELLECTUAL

 

**jenjen** : i must have no braincells

**jenjen** : bc we know pistachio is superior

 

**_RENJUN REMOVED JENO_ **

 

**junjun** : it’s over

**junjun** : friendship card [REVOKED]

 

**_CHENLE ADDED JENO_ **

 

**jenjen** : wtf renjun

**jenjen** : not my fault u have no taste buds

 

**junjun** : how dare you

**junjun** : pistachio over mint choco-chip

is like swiss cheese over mozzarella!!

 

**jiji** : who tf chooses swiss cheese over any other type of cheese

 

**junjun** : exactly !!

 

**jenjen** : …

 

**junjun** : why three periods jeno

 

**_JENO LEFT THE CHAT_ **

 

**lele** : ooo

**lele** : Big Mistake renjun

 

**junjun** : what?

 

**lele** : swiss cheese,,, a little specific huh

 

**junjun** : it’s cheese

 

**lele** : don’t you think jeno knows close to everything about jaemin

 

**junjun** : fuck

 

**jiji** : see you in hell renjun

 

**junjun** : stfu

 

**lele** : moomin can’t keep you safe now

 

**_RENJUN MUTED THE CHAT_ **

 

**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ JENO ]_ **

 

**jenjen** : renjun…

**jenjen** : are you doing this on purpose

 

**junjun** : no

**junjun** : it was just a statement,,,

**junjun** : that just so happens to be similar to a statement a certain someone may have made two months ago when he was dating another certain someone

 

**jenjen** : k

 

**junjun** : jeno

**READ 09:48**

 

**junjun** : jeno please

**READ 09:50**

  
  
  


for the next three days at school, jeno avoided renjun at all costs. it was finally friday when renjun decided he should put an end to jeno’s petty tendencies. for the first time in months, renjun actually attended his third lunch period, looking for the cafeteria table jeno frequented with donghyuck, mark, and jaemin.

 

he inhaled then exhaled before making his presence known. “jeno... we need to talk.” the group looked up at renjun as if he had two heads on his shoulders. “i don’t really want to talk about this right now, renjun.” “well we’re going to so, follow me or i’ll make sure you get a zero on today’s english test.” jeno rolled his eyes, “that’s not threatening.” “can you just fucking come with me, jeno? do you need me to make a scene?” renjun demanded, pulling out a chair and getting ready to stand on it. “no! fine, i’ll go.”

 

renjun led jeno to the art room as it was always empty during third period. renjun had wanted to go to the courtyard at first, where it was too cold for students to be eating outside but he decided that the art room was more of a safe space for him. renjun always felt a little bit vulnerable there, as if all he had to do was touch a paintbrush and soon all his internalised feelings would be expressed in a simple sketch or drawing.

 

“okay, what did you take me out of lunch for?” jeno asked, crossing his arms. “i… i want to talk to you about something i haven’t been telling you.” jeno made a vague hand gesture that made renjun assume he wanted him to go on. “there is something going on between me and jaemin, but not really? i genuinely had no interest in him when he asked me about the english homework that first week of school but then he gave me his instagram and wouldn’t stop texting me so i texted back and now we’re here and you’re super mad but i don’t want you to be mad because you’re my best friend?” renjun took a breath after he finished.

 

there was a moment of silence in which renjun hoped jeno was not thinking about the possible ways to decapitate his head with the nearest object. “so you and jaemin aren’t dating?” renjun shook his head hastily, “not at all! we just text but not like… that.” renjun could tell that jeno was still upset but the situation was going a lot better than he had expected. “alright.” “that’s it? i had been hiding that from you for two months and all you have to say is alright?” renjun inquired, incredulously. jeno shrugged, “i still don’t like it but it’s not like you guys are going on dates or anything.” “no, of course not.” “okay then. and don’t forget what i’ve been telling you,” jeno reminded renjun, walking towards the door. “yeah, i know.”

  
  
  


**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ RENJUN ]_ **

 

**jaemin** : good afternoon, renjunie!!

**jaemin** : don’t u kno what tonight is

 

**renjun** : it’ll be friday night

 

**jaemin** : date night :D

 

**renjun** : oh yeah that

 

**jaemin** : send me ur address babe

**jaemin** : i will be there at half six pm

 

**renjun** : may i ask what we are doing

 

**jaemin** : nope!

**jaemin** : it’s a surprise

 

**renjun** : inch resting

 

**jaemin** : see you soon♡♡

  
  
  


renjun was about to have a gay panic. what was he supposed to wear? what if they went someplace fancy and renjun was underdressed? or what if they went somewhere casual and renjun was overdressed? renjun would never in a million years ask his friends what they would wear on a date but renjun’s father was still in work. not that he’d ask his father either… however his mom was miraculously home from work tonight. honestly, renjun had a much better relationship with his mother and the two had been closer ever since he came out in sophomore year but it wasn’t like that his father. they had their arguments but renjun knew deep down somewhere, his father probably loved him.

 

“hey, are you busy mom?” renjun asked, opening the door despite not receiving an answer. his mother nodded, setting aside her laptop on the empty space where his dad would usually lay. “is there anything wrong?” renjun shook his head, playing with his fingers behind his back. “well… i’m going on a date and need help.” his mother stood up, “a date, injun? oh my gosh, your first date!” “it’s not my first date, i’ve been—” “your first date with a boy! i’m so happy for you, oh my. where are you going?” “that’s the thing. it’s supposed to be a surprise.” renjun’s mother sighed and began to tell anecdotes of her dates with his father. renjun was already beginning to regret entering his parent’s room.

 

after deciding between five different outfits with his mother (who was really no help at all. she only chose his socks), renjun found himself in the passenger seat of jaemin’s car. for some reason he expected it to be a shitshow but the car was actually quite clean and smelled like coconuts. “this is your car?” renjun asked, just to make sure. “it was my dad’s. but he’s irrelevant, are you excited?” “i still don’t even know where we’re going.” renjun pointed out. “let’s just say it has something to do with our special talents.” jaemin glanced at renjun for a moment to smile at him before returning his gaze to the road in front of them.

  
  
  
  


“first stop!” jaemin exclaimed as he turned the car off. “we’re at the art museum? do you even enjoy art?” renjun asked, giving the taller boy a skeptical look. “i enjoy whatever you enjoy, babe.” renjun rolled his eyes as the two entered the museum after showing the front desk their tickets.

 

they walked around for at most an hour, occasionally stopping at paintings to revel in, although renjun did that more than jaemin. “that’s the les demoiselles d’avignon by picasso,” renjun recalled from memory. “he made it during the cubism period, which he essentially started in the early nineteen hundreds.” jaemin nodded, listening to renjun’s facts about the painting. “you sure know a lot about all these artists.” renjun shrugged sheepishly, “it’s interesting, to say the least. i love the sistine chapel ceiling painting by michelangelo but my all time favourite is starry night by van gogh, even though that’s kind of overrated.”

 

jaemin shook his head, “it’s not overrated. the best thing about art and music is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. anyone can interpret it anyway they want and no one can tell them that they’re wrong.” renjun hummed in agreement. “okay then. since art is my secret talent, what’s yours?” “that will bring us to our second stop,” jaemin stated, grabbing renjun’s hand as they walked back to his car. surprisingly, it was soft yet calloused at the same time. renjun wondered what jaemin did for his hands to be like that.

 

they drove for another thirty minutes occasionally talking and just listening to the music from jaemin’s playlist on his phone. he didn’t know why, but renjun wasn’t expecting jaemin to be a chilled music kind of person. some of the songs were american oldies, performed by michael jackson or the beatles, but some were modern day indie artists such as the walters and hozier. “here we are, second to last stop!” jaemin exited the driver side and led renjun to the front doors of a dance studio. “the studio is closed?” “that’s why i have the keys. my aunt owns the place and lets me come here after she closes if i’m nearby but sometimes i like to go out of my way to come here.”

 

renjun walked around after jaemin flicked the lights on in a practice room with a speaker in the back corner. “is this what you were hinting at when you said that stuff in the art museum? about interpreting music and art?” jaemin hummed as he connected his phone to the bluetooth, “somewhat, yes.” soon enough the silence was drowned out my music and renjun focused on the music coming from the speakers. after the short intro renjun recognised the song as [ serendipity ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEMaH9Sm3lQ) from BTS, one of his favourite songs.

 

renjun was completely invested in the way jaemin danced. it seemed as though the dance was something he was practicing, the way jaemin closed his eyes as if he were trying to remember what the choreographer had taught him. “jaemin... i-i don’t even know what to say.”

“you don’t have to be nice,” jaemin breathed heavily. “it wasn’t all that great.” renjun almost choked on the air, “wasn’t all that great? that was amazing! i…. i don’t know if you choosing that song was a coincidence but it’s actually one of my favourite songs at the moment.” “do you think of me when you listen to it?” jaemin smirked. “don’t get too carried away, nana. but seriously, you should think of joining the dance team.” jaemin laughed at that. “i have a reputation to protect.”

 

another ten minutes was spent with renjun reveling in jaemin’s dancing talents, occasionally singing along with the music as well. “and he sings,” jaemin clapped. “is there anything you can’t do, renjun?” “don’t flatter me, jaemin. you mentioned that this was the second to last stop. there’s more?” jaemin frowned playfully, “are you getting tired of me, renjunie?”

“yeah, tired of your surprises.” jaemin chuckled. “then you’re in luck. it’s not far from here so we can walk. i just have to get the blanket from the boot of the car.” renjun followed the other boy, intertwining their hands as jaemin swung them back and forth. he set the blanket down once they were a safe distance away from the car that if something happened, they could run back in a short amount of time.

 

“so, this is the last stop?” renjun asked, taking a seat and looking down at jaemin as he lay across the blanket. “yup. this is the clearest night of the week, so we’re stargazing! lay down with me so i’m not cold and lonely.” jaemin pouted, pulling renjun down onto his chest.

 

both boys were silent for a while, enjoying each other’s company and watching the stars and occasional airplanes pass in the night sky. “that big set of stars is orion. do you know that one?” renjun asked, pointing to it so jaemin could see. he felt the other boy shake his head so renjun took the opportunity to explain.

“the orion constellation can be seen throughout the entire world and got it’s name from a famous greek myth about a hunter named orion. it also has two out of ten of the brightest stars in the sky contained in it.” jaemin hummed, “that’s impossible.” “what’s impossible?” “you said it has two of the brightest stars but you’re down here on earth.”

 

renjun groaned, “oh my god… has anyone ever told you to shut up?” “you have plenty of times but it doesn’t seem to be working. maybe you have to try something else.” renjun propped himself up on his elbows, turning to jaemin who was still laying on the blanket. “what exactly do you propose i do?”

 

jaemin sat up, most likely on purpose to decrease the space between their faces. “there are a few suggestions you might enjoy.” “suggest away, nana.” the close proximity allowed renjun to truly focus on all of the flaws jaemin didn’t have from his clear face to dark brown eyes. renjun didn’t miss the way jaemin’s eyes flickered from his own to his lips then back. _holy shit._ was he actually going to kiss him? renjun was two seconds away from a gay panic but before he could pull away, jaemin was already kissing him.

 

renjun responded, surprising himself as he had never kissed anyone before. he had only seen kissing in the movies so when he put his hand on jaemin’s cheek and jaemin put his own hand over it, renjun wanted to be buried six feet under the very blanket they were sitting on. jaemin's lips were as soft as they looked and tasted like cocoa butter. renjun wondered if his own lips tasted like the cherry chapstick he used. when jaemin pulled away for air renjun moved closer but stopped, saving himself from perpetual embarrassment. renjun was speechless and breathless and he hated it. he hated na jaemin for having him wrapped around his finger like a puppy to its owner's leash.

 

“d-did it work?” renjun asked, finally breaking the silence except for their heavy breaths. “i don't know. perhaps you’d like to try again?” jaemin asked with a sly smile. renjun rolled his eyes but leaned in again, only kissing jaemin for half the amount of time when they first did. “i waited too long to do that, renjunie.” renjun hit jaemin lightly, in slight embarrassment. “i’m serious!” “yeah, sure you are. c’mon, it’s almost half eleven.”

“aw, do you have a curfew, babe?” “if you must know, yes and it’s at midnight.” “okay, cinderella. don’t worry i’ll get you home at eleven fifty-nine pm.” “you shouldn't joke about something like that, nana. your car might turn into a pumpkin and we won’t get there on time.” “or you’ll lose one shoe and i’ll never see you again until i marry you.” "marry me... you wish."

 

as they drove back to renjun’s house, renjun couldn’t help but think about the evening as a whole. jeno had made jaemin out to be such a shitty guy but once you got to know him, he wasn’t even all that bad. “thank you a lot for tonight, nana.” jaemin smiled at renjun after he put the car in park. “anything for you babe. i’m glad you had a good time with me.” “i’ll always have a good time when i’m with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope u were able to sit through all this... next one will be kind of long + filled w/ more drama too :)


	6. it's for the best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kisses and more drama. could renjun's life be anything BUT a rollercoaster of emotions for once?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter titles: nothing lasts - bedroom

_**PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ CHENLE ]** _

 

 **junjun** : houston we have Another problem

 

 **lele** : it’s almost half two in the morning

 

 **junjun** : okay i’ll tell you later

 

 **lele** : wtf are you crazy

 **lele** : now i have to know

 

 **junjun** : you’re so confusing

 **junjun** : so i just got home from my date w jaemin

 

 **lele** : what did he do kidnap you??

 

 **junjun** : i got home two hrs ago but i can’t sleep

 **junjun** : anyGAY to make a long fuckin story short

 

 **lele** : u shoved a bag of jellybeans up ur ass

 

 **junjun** : we went to the art museum for two hours

 

_**JUNJUN DISKLIKED "u shoved a bag of jellybeans up ur ass"**  _

 

 **junjun** : his aunt’s dance studio for another hour and then stargazing for another hour

 **junjun** : then we drove around

 

 **lele** : ooohhh

 **lele** : moral of the story that you decided to text to me at half two am???

 

 **junjun** : we kissed

 **junjun** : and it was like,,, a Really good kiss

 

 **lele** : first of all

 **lele** : RENMIN RISE 

 **lele** : second of all

 **lele** : jaemin is a fuckboy ofc he’s a good kisser

 

 **junjun** : what is that supposed to mean sir

 

 **lele** : dont get jealous jun i dont want your mans

 **lele** : and be safe ;^)

 

 **junjun** : he’s not my mans

_**JUNJUN DISLIKED “and be safe ;^)”**_

 

 **lele** : but he will be

 

 **junjun** : i want him to be ):

 **junjun** : but jeno )):

 

 **lele** : honestly im Gonna say it

 **lele** : fuck jeno

 

 **junjun** : sophomore me would’ve jumped at the chance,,, Sigh

 

 **lele** : YHATS NOT WH AT I MEANT FUCKFACE

 **lele** : if you rlly want to date jaemin go for it

 **lele** : jeno has to get over him

 

 **junjun** : true true

 **junjun** : we’ll see

 

 **lele** : don’t sacrifice ur happiness bc jeno can’t forgive and forget

 

 **junjun** : double sigh

 

 **lele** : triple sigh

 **lele** : welp i’m going back to sleep

 

 **junjun** : kk goodnight chenle

 

 **lele** : sweet dreams about u and jaemin!!

 

 

**RENJUN MUTED THE CHAT**

 

 

 **PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ NANA** **♥︎** **]**

 

 **nana** : how’s ur saturday goin

 

 **injeolmi** : it’s alright

 

 **nana** : i was hoping u’d say that :D 

 **nana** : r u busy

 

 **injeolmi** : doing homework

 

 **nana** : wanna come over

 

 **injeolmi** : …

 **injeolmi** : i suppose i can make an exception

 

 **nana** : fun!!

 

 **injeolmi** : i’ll skate over

 **injeolmi** : see you in 30

 

 **nana** : ♡♡

 

 

 

 

 

 

thirty minutes later renjun arrived at jaemin’s house, hoping he didn’t look too bad. he wasn’t sure if the two of them were going to go anywhere or if they were going to stay in jaemin’s house so renjun dressed comfortably but still nice enough to look presentable in public. “are you going to stand outside all afternoon?” jaemin answered the door, looking as good as aphrodite in just a t-shirt and sweatpants. “y-yeah, sorry. what did you want to do?” renjun asked, following jaemin to the living room.

 

the house was quite big, although not as spacious and decorative as chenle’s house. there were a few family pictures but only of jaemin and his mother. renjun could understand that. renjun’s father was still part of his life but he may as well have been gone. jaemin shrugged, “i missed you,” he sighed, hugging renjun from behind. “we were together for most of last night.” he pointed out, peeling himself from jaemin’s grasp. “that doesn’t mean i can’t miss you. plus, i’m home alone and scared. i couldn’t stop watching buzzfeed unsolved videos.”

 

renjun laughed, “you’re scared over a few fake ghost stories?” jaemin gasped, dramatically placing a hand over his chest. “ fake ? you unbeliever! honestly, you’re lucky hyuck isn’t here. he’d pull out a twenty page powerpoint just about the murders of biggie and tupac.” there was a moment of silence until renjun asked, “who?” and jaemin gasped again, flicking renjun’s forehead. “renjun, my sweet baby… i’m about to educate you on a saturday.”

 

for three hours, jaemin forced renjun to watch all three seasons of buzzfeed unsolved videos. for the first few, renjun wasn’t interested but after awhile he understood how intriguing they were. “have i converted you?” jaemin asked, switching from the youtube app to the netflix app on the apple tv. renjun shrugged, “maybe… some of the supernatural ones were scary though.” “well, it’s a good thing i was here to protect you, right?” “every day i wonder why i still come back to you.” jaemin hummed, quickly kissing renjun. “because you love me.” “whatever helps you sleep at night, nana.”

“now that i’ve brought you over to the dark side, what should we watch?” jaemin asked absentmindedly, scrolling though random choices on netflix. “there’s a good american drama i was watching with chenle last week… glee?” the younger boy shrugged, typing in the title and pressing play on the title episode. for reasons unbeknownst to him, jaemin was nowhere near interested in the show. it truly did seem interesting but for the moment being, renjun was far more intriguing than a bunch of kids failing at singing and dancing on a auditorium stage.

 

renjun took the small remote from the coffee table and lowered the volume, “you’re staring at me, nana.” jaemin batted his eyelashes, feigning innocence. “am i?” “is there something on my face?” jaemin hummed, leaning closer to the boy next to him. “yeah... something underneath your nose.” renjun looked down, as if he could see there. “really? i don't think i ate anything before i left my—” jaemin interrupted renjun with a kiss, more intense than the one they previously shared. renjun was startled but soon reciprocated, both hands softly cupping jaemin’s face. the younger teen didn’t mind, adjusting his seat to get closer to the elder teen, letting his hands fall into the other’s hair. jaemin sighed against renjun’s lips, biting the bottom one soft enough to leave a bruise. after another short moment jaemin pulled away as he put a hand in front of renjun to stop him from leaning in again. “don’t get too desperate, babe. i don’t want to die by suffocation from a kiss.” renjun let out a breathy laugh, hitting jaemin playfully. “just kiss me again you loser.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_**jaemin + irrelevant others, GROUP** _

 

 **haechan** : jaemin are you drunk

 **haechan** : this gc name is Unacceptable

 

 **jaemin** : it’s gr8 cos i named it

 

 **haechan** : if ur not drunk u must be high

 

_**HAECHAN RENAMED THE CHAT: HYUCK, MARK + IRRELEVANT OTHERS** _

 

 **mark** : why am i not included in irrelevant others

 

 **haechan** : bc i love you

 

 **jaemin** : stfu uglies

 **jaemin** : take ur nasty love somewhere else

 

 **haechan** : wow i will not stand for the Homophobia

 

 **jeno** : what is going on

 

 **hyuck** : jaem is a homophobe

 

 **jaemin** : shut up and go kiss mark or something

 **jaemin** : i have a problem

 

 **jeno** : jaemin?? talking about his problems???

 

 **jaemin** : people change ;^)

 

**JAEMIN KICKED JENO**

 

 **jaemin** : great so now that he’s gone

 **jaemin** : i want to date renjun

 

 **haechan** : what the actual fuck

 **haechan** : jeno will deadass step on your fucking neck

 

 **jaemin** : which is why i kicked him before i said it

 

 **mark** : jaemin you really have no brain cells

 

 **haechan** : honey we been knew

 

 **jaemin** : but i’m srs

 

 **haechan** : anyway what made u come to that conclusion

 

 **jaemin** : we went on a date last night

 

 **haechan** : JAEMIN WHAT THE FUCK

 

 

 **jaemin** : then he came over + we watched unsolved and made out ;^)

 **jaemin** : idk i’ve never dated b4 u guys know this

 

 **mark** : yeah bc you have trust issues

 

 **haechan** : YOU AND RENJUN WHAT

 

 **jaemin** : okay just expose me mark omg

 

 **mark** : no printer just fax

 

 **jaemin** : ANYWAY

 **jaemin** : renjun is just really nice and cute and i…. i might **** him

 

 **haechan** : love???

 

 **jaemin** : oh ffs

 **jaemin** : a different four letter L word you absolute knob

 

 **haechan** : THAT WAS SO RUDE WTF

 

 **jaemin** : ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING YOU PANINI HEADS

 

 **mark** : i’m literally going to jump off the empire state building

 

 **jaemin** : see you in hell mark!!

 

 **haechan** : how are you gonna tell jeno

 

 **jaemin** : right now

 

 **haechan** : chaotic gay

 

 **mark** : ur in my prayers bro

 

_**JAEMIN ADDED JENO** _

 

 **jaemin** : and resume

 

 **jeno** : why’d you kick me

 

 **jaemin** : we just needed to have a discussion

 

 **jeno** : do you know how suspicious that sounds

 

 **jaemin** : yes i am fully aware so i’ll ask right now

 **jaemin** : i need ur blessing my beautiful friend whom i love platonically so much

 

 **jeno** : …

 **jeno** : is he drunk rn???

 

 **haechan** : unfortunately not

 

 **mark** : spit it out jaemin before i say it for you

 

 **jaemin** : i want to date renjun

 

 **jeno** : no

 **jeno** : no way

 

 **jaemin** : why not

 

 **jeno** : because you’ll break his heart

 

 **jaemin** : i learned my lesson jeno

 

 **haechan** : this is about to get serious

 **haechan** : if i stay any longer i might send memes

 **haechan** : tell me what goes down mark

 

_**HAECHAN LEFT THE CHAT** _

 

 **mark** : well would u look at that

 **mark** : my pie is almost ready i should take it out the oven and let it cool

 

_**MARK LEFT THE CHAT** _

 

 **jeno** : okay whatever

 **jeno** : where did this sudden want to date renjun come from

 

 **jaemin** : well…

 **jaemin** : we went on a date yesterday and hung out today

 

 **jeno** : YOU WHAT

 **jeno** : i’m going to choke him

 

 **jaemin** : no don’t be mad at renjun

 **jaemin** : it was my idea

 

 **jeno** : i’m going to choke you first, then him

 

 **jaemin** : jeno c’mon

 **jaemin** : i moved on and learned my lesson

 **jaemin** : can you?

**READ 16:35**

 

_**JENO LEFT THE CHAT** _

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  

_**moomin babes, GROUP** _

 

 **jenjen** : RENJUN

 **jenjen** : HUANG RENJUN

 

 **lele** : full name holy shit

 **lele** : what is about to happen

 

 **jiji** : wow this was the perfect time to make popcorn

 

 **junjun** : wtf

 **junjun** : what jeno

 

 **jenjen** : WHAT IS WRONG YOU

 **jenjen** : WHAT THE HELL HAVE I BEEN TELLING YOU FOR FIVE MONTHS

 

 **junjun** : che?

 

 **lele** : oh he knows italian now

 

 **jenjen** : hush chenle

 **jenjen** : did everything about jaemin just disappear from your dense brain

 

 **junjun** : what the fuck

 **junjun** : sorry there’s something called getting to know someone and not judging them after a bad experience that you can’t get over

 **junjun** : jaemin is actually nice and not as bad as you keep making him out to be

 

 **jenjen** : i didn’t tell you all that shit because i was jealous renjun

 **jenjen** : i was telling the truth bc i care about you

 

 **junjun** : sure jan

 

 **jenjen** : a five month relationship is long for jaemin but all three of us know that it’s not going to last

 

 **junjun** : you know what this is really fucking low for you jeno

 **junjun** : chenle, jisung and i knew about jaemin’s reputation yet we were still happy when you guys were together

 **junjun** : we didn’t waste two measly months of our actually busy summer vacation to tell you who you should and shouldn’t be talking to

 **junjun** : this is so ridiculous like do you even listen to yourself

 **junjun** : it’s been seven months since you broke up. SEVEN

 **junjun** : and you’re still not over it

 **junjun** : so when will you get over it jeno? when you’re six feet under and decomposing in a coffin with no flowers on the headstone because you lost your friend to a shitty argument?

 

 **lele** : HOLY SHIT RENJUN

 

 **jiji** : i’m going to fucking choke on my water

 

 **junjun** : every single time you just say you care for me

 **junjun** : so tell me jeno

 **junjun** : do you care for me or do you care for the feelings you still have for jaemin

 

 **jenjen** : i don’t have any feelings for jaemin

 **jenjen** : you’re so fucking stubborn it’s annoying

 **jenjen** : go ahead and ruin your lovelife by dating him, you don’t even know the full story of what happened this summer

 **jenjen** : but whatever, don’t cry to me when some shit happens and there’s no one else to go to

 

_**RENJUN LEFT THE CHAT** _

 

 **lele** : whoa… this was worldstar over imessage

 

 **jiji** : okay well if we’re going to fix this friendship we need to start planning now

 

 **jenjen** : don’t even waste your time.

 

_**JENO LEFT THE CHAT** _

 

 **lele** : fuck.

 

 **jiji** : fuck. x2

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

the next three weeks were spent with everyone renjun knew being cut off, with the exceptions of chenle and jisung. renjun couldn’t believe he let jeno get to his head like that on that day. it wasn’t like renjun to be so furious but jeno had been testing his patience since the first time they had a private conversation about pursuing a relationship with jaemin.

 

it hurt renjun a lot to cut off jeno because jeno was his best friend. now renjun could barely share a glance with jeno in class or sit with him at third period lunch. to be completely honest with himself, it also hurt to cut off jaemin. the two still talked but it wasn’t the same as before. renjun had told jaemin about the argument so the two of them decided not to be anything serious until jeno could get over it. renjun wasn’t sure if jeno ever would get over it.

 

“where are you going renjun?” donghyuck asked. renjun hadn’t even known the other boy was following him. renjun just shrugged, “dunno. probably the art room or i’ll skip the last two periods.” when donghyuck kept following him, renjun stopped. “is there something you needed?” donghyuck averted his gaze before replying. “i want to help you.” “help me with what?” “everyone knows you and jeno are in bad shape. he’s always sulking but whenever we mention trying to rekindle your friendship he gets pissed and ignores mark and i.”

 

renjun rolled his eyes, “with good reason. look, i don’t care if jeno and i are friends or not anymore.” donghyuck scoffed, “that’s a total lie. even the teachers know it, renjun. i know you miss him a hell of a lot more than you want to admit.” renjun stopped walking because donghyuck was right. renjun missed jeno more than he’d miss his arm if it had been cut off. “jeno probably hates my entire existence. besides, it’s not like you have a plan or something.” donghyuck smiled while patting renjun on his shoulder, “not yet but soon there will be. also, don’t skip this class we have a test in sociology and i’d literally love you more than jaemin if you let me cheat off of your paper.” renjun ignored donghyuck’s plea and walked faster, keeping his head down as donghyuck yelled after him begging for his help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_**operation noren comeback, GROUP** _

 

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx** : hello fellow gays

 

 **chenle** : uhm who are you?

 

 **jisung** : who is this

 

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx** : wow u guys dont have my number

 

 **jisung** : obviously not

 

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx** : Rude

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx** : i like it

 

 **xxx-xxx-xxxx** : okay get on w/ it hyuck

 

 **chenle** : oh!! ur jeno’s other senior friends

 

 **jisung** : makes sense

 

 **haechan** : what is that supposed to mean

 

 **jisung** : whatever you want it to mean

 

 **haechan** : okay…

 **haechan** : i gathered us here today to discuss a plan to get jeno and renjun to be friends again

 

 **chenle** : omg!! jwi and i were just talkin about that :)

 **chenle** : we have Many proposals (ㆆᴗㆆ)

 

 **haechan** : i see now why renjun is friends with you, ur so cute

 

 **mark** : ):

 

 **haechan** : ur cuter mark ily

 

 **mark** : :)

 

 **jisung** : gross love

 

 **chenle** : ily jisungie

 

 **jisung** : ilym

 **jisung** : ew im choking

 **jisung** : there’s too much love here

 

 **haechan** : anyGay lets continue

 

 **mark** : is this even going to be a good idea hyuck

 

 **haechan** : don’t doubt me mark ofc it’s going to be a good idea

 **haechan** : chenle, jisung, meet mark and i at the diner near the gym

 

 **chenle** : time??

 

 **mark** : preferably after school

 **mark** : and don’t tell renjun ofc

 

 **jisung** : no promises

 

 **haechan** : …

 

 **mark** : …

 

 **jisung** : kidding,,,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> school is back from spring break for me, so expect less frequent updates! sorry ): finals will be soon and then summer! hopefully i’ll be able to still post things for the time being :)


	7. i'll be coming back to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friends go behind other friends backs, but in the name of friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title - back to you by one direction

**_operation noren comeback, GROUP_ **

 

**chenle** : i bought the tickets!!

**chenle** : + made sure only jeno and renjun will be in one room :)

 

**haechan** : bless you

**haechan** : i’ll pay you back

 

**chenle** : you don’t have to

**chenle** : it was kind of expensive

 

**haechan** : yes i do ilu

**haechan** : anyway let’s stay focused

**haechan** : i’ll text jeno and tell him we’re going to the city

 

**jisung** : chenle and i will invite renjun to the city with us

 

**mark** : we meet up at the escape room and go our separate ways

 

**chenle** : jeno and renjun will end up in the same room

**chenle** : the four of us will be in a different room

 

**mark** : honestly i didn’t think this would be a good plan

 

**chenle** : it hasn’t worked yet…

 

**haechan** : don’t be nonbelievers, ofc it’ll work

 

**jisung** : they’ll be stuck in a room for an hour forced to work together

**jisung** : what could possibly go wrong

  
  
  
  


_a lot could go wrong_ , chenle thought. he had never been in a situation where his friends had a big fight. usually they were able to work it out after a few days or at most a week. renjun and jeno hadn’t been talking to each other for almost a month. now both of their best friends were organising a hangout for them behind their backs? chenle wasn’t sure if it was smart or just plain dumb. he also felt that it was a little selfish. what if renjun and jeno truly didn’t want to be friends anymore? the reasoning was annoying, since it was just an argument over a boy. sure, chenle supposed that renjun and jeno were both justified in their reasons but it wasn’t like renjun would end up marrying jaemin someday.

 

besides, those tickets really were expensive. if renjun and jeno didn’t fix at least half of their situation by the end of tonight, chenle would have both of their heads over the fireplace in his living room.

  
  
  
  


**_wumbology, GROUP_ **

 

**mark** : i bought tickets to go to the city

 

**hyuck** : oh did you ;;;)

 

**jeno** : okay

**jeno** : what’s that got to do with us

 

**mark** : aren’t you curious as to why i bought specifically three tickets to go to the city

 

**jeno** : am i supposed to be

 

**hyuck** : since you need it spelled out for you,, Y E S

 

**jeno** : okay… why did you buy three tickets to go to the city mark

 

**mark** : we’re gonna do an escape the room

 

**jeno** : a what?

 

**hyuck** : oh ffs jeno… sweet jeno

**hyuck** : you get locked in a room for an hour and have to find clues to get out before time runs out

 

**jeno** : sounds like a waste of time

 

**mark** : so you’ll come right?

 

**jeno** : can’t you get someone else to go

 

**mark** : no not really

 

**hyuck** : we want to do it w/ you!

 

**jeno** : suddenly i’m busy

 

**hyuck** : so i’m taking that as a yes

 

**jeno** : what if i don’t want to go

 

**mark** : what do i have to give you in order to make you go

 

**jeno** : nothing i just don’t want to go

 

**hyuck** : okay what if i told you we’ll eat before we go

**hyuck** : and mark and i will pay for whatever you order

 

**jeno** : intriguing

 

**mark** : my wallet is already crying

**mark** : is that a yes jeno?

**jeno** : sure

 

**hyuck** : great!!!!!

**hyuck** : be ready by 17:45

  
  
  
  


**_renjun loving hours, GROUP_ **

 

**lele** : renjun clear your schedule!!!!

 

**junjun** : what if i can’t

 

**jiji** : are you really busy on a saturday night

 

**junjun** : possibly

 

**jiji** : for the past three weeks you’ve been coming to school a minute before the late bell, skipping lunch and art club, avoiding us, then you’d go back home (ty snapchat map), sulk on social media until about one in the morning after you’ve finished your homework and repeat.

**jiji** : so based on my research, i doubt you’re busy tonight

 

**lele** : wowzers

**lele** : you should be a sasaeng

 

**jiji** : ew we’re breaking up

**jiji** : don’t ever disrespect me like that again chenle

 

**lele** : ♥︎♥︎

 

**junjun** : what are you guys doing

 

**lele** : we’re going to the city

**lele** : and we’re inviting you bc one of these tickets has your name on it ;)

 

**jiji** : and someone else

 

**lele** : shh sung

 

**junjun** : ticket for what

 

**lele** : we’re going to an escape the room!

 

**junjun** : you guys know those take like three hours

 

**lele** : no they usually last one hour

 

**jiji** : it’s going to be a Once In A Lifetime Experience

 

**lele** : c’mon it’ll be fun

 

**junjun** : who else is going

 

**lele** : just us three

**lele** : and probably some strangers to fill the room

 

**junjun** : …

**junjun** : well i’d rather be there than home

 

**lele** : yay!! we’re taking the train btw

 

**jiji** : wow chenle on a train

 

**lele** : i take the train sometimes ):

 

**junjun** : keyword _sometimes_

 

**lele** : u guys are so mean to me )’:

 

**jiji** : ilu chenle

 

**lele** : :’)

**lele** : let’s meet up at 17:45

  
  
  
  


being with his friends and actually talking to them in person for the first time in three weeks actually made renjun feel a little better since his dispute with jeno. renjun missed taking the train and fooling around while walking down the long city blocks with jisung and chenle. a tiny part of him felt that the night would have been complete if jeno was with them but renjun would never admit that aloud or to himself.

 

“are you sure you’re alright, renjun? all this stuff with jeno seems kind of… not you.” chenle questioned, fumbling with his apple watch as a way to avoid eye contact. “honestly, i hate it but i’m not talking to him unless he apologises first. i can’t control his jealousy but he should be happy for whoever jaemin ends up with.” chenle nodded and jisung made a face. “why does it matter if jeno apologises first?” “he’s the one who insulted me.” renjun frowned, he did not want to be talking about this right now. he just wanted to hang out with his friends and not think about drama for once this entire school year.

 

when the group of three entered the building, a worker walked up to them asking if they had their tickets. “two tickets for the theatre room and one for the apartment room.” “why do you guys have two different rooms?” renjun asked. chenle hit his forehead, “damn, i must’ve got one wrong by accident. do you think you can change it?” he asked the worker. “all rooms are booked, sorry kids.” jisung hit renjun on the back, “don’t worry, it’ll be fun!”

 

renjun entered the room, decorated to look like an ordinary apartment but renjun knew there were clues all around which would help him escape. he sighed, “can’t believe i have to do this all by myself.” he jinxed himself when the door opened again and another person walked in, however it was the last person he expected to be in his presence. “jeno?” “renjun? fuck this. i knew i shouldn’t have come.”

 

“wait! who are you here with?” renjun asked and jeno rolled his eyes. “hyuck and mark. they probably set this up with chenle and jisung.” there was a moment of silence before someone talked again. “well,” renjun started, “maybe they did it for a reason?” renjun wasn’t one to be so straightforward so he hoped jeno could figure out what he was implying. “why should i continue to be friends with someone who never listens to me?” jeno asked, most likely rhetorically as he walked around the room looking for clues.

 

renjun followed suit on the other side of the room. “why is it taking you so long to forget about something from almost half a year ago?” renjun regretted what he said as soon as it left his mouth but he knew he was right. jaemin had clearly moved on and was doing other things with his life. what was jeno waiting for? the silence from jeno returned, making renjun sigh. it was a lost cause.

 

for the next hour, renjun and jeno went through the room in silence unless they were discussing clues, asking for hints, or indirectly being rude to each other. sometimes they did joke around as if they weren’t currently in a petty disagreement which made renjun’s heart hurt. he missed his best friend but there wasn’t much he could do if jeno wasn’t going to put in the effort to rekindle their friendship.

 

when the two were finally let out of the room after winning the game with ten minutes to spare, jeno sighed. “listen… renjun. the past three weeks you’ve been ignoring me made me think.” “must’ve been tiring,” renjun muttered, trying to walk to the exit. jeno grabbed his wrist, “i’m being serious, renjun. and you were right. i’ve been really selfish when i shouldn’t have been because you’ve always been there for me and that’s the least i can do right now. i may not like the situation but your love life isn’t for me to decide.” renjun stayed silent, pulling his arm away from jeno. “alright, i accept your shitty apology. and i’m also sorry… for being rude to you like that over text, it was wrong of me to be like that even if you thought you were trying to help.” jeno shook his head, “i deserved it. i was being an asshole.” renjun couldn’t disagree with that. “well, if you really want to make it up to me even more, you can get me free food.”

 

jeno smiled, “shouldn’t we wait for the others?” “free food is more important than them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> biggest oof ever this was so bad i made you guys wait this long for such a shitty chapter i’m so sorry who even am i wow anygay i’ll update again soon!! really soon, i pinky promise!!!


	8. baby i don't want nobody but you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drinking gets you kisses and l word confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title - limitless nct 127  
> *mentions of drugs and alcohol  
> **italics = mandarin

the next week seemed to be as normal as normal could be for renjun. for once he felt drama free albeit he was not stress free. first semester final exams had just ended yet his ap teachers wanted to give even more tests. in this very moment, renjun had his head stuck in an ap calculus textbook with chenle seated across from him in the library. chenle was studying for his ap bio test, which renjun would also have to study for at some point. “ _ how’s it been with jeno? _ ” renjun almost responded with an answer from his current math problem but stopped himself with a silent shrug. “ _ we’re okay… he’s acting weird though _ .” 

 

chenle closed his books and put them in his bag, “ _ do you think he’s jealous _ ?” renjun rolled his eyes and returned to his own work. “ _ definitely not. i’m pretty sure he likes that guy on your off-season basketball team, with the mullet. _ ” “han jisung _? ha, i should tell him _ !” if he was being honest, renjun didn’t care what chenle did with that information (since it might have been fake anyway), he just wanted to continue studying. “ _ well, i’ve got to get to practice. jiayou _ .” renjun waved goodbye absentmindedly but before he could return to his work, another person took chenle’s seat.

 

“you know i’ve been texting you!” renjun looked up to see jaemin, holding two cups of what he assumed contained coffee. “my phone is on do not disturb. i’m studying.” jaemin hummed, “so i guess you don’t want the medium caramel latte i got because i know that you have no self care when you’re studying.” renjun smiled, “i guess i can take a break.” jaemin handed renjun the coffee while sipping his own. “i hope you know the school is closing after basketball and volleyball practices are over.” renjun nodded. “yeah, i’ll probably just go to the local library or something.” “and go do what, study more? you should take a break, babe.” “...this is my break.”

 

jaemin groaned, “renjun, did you even eat lunch or dinner?” “it’s too late for lunch and too early for dinner,” renjun muttered. jaemin packed renjun’s books and stationery in his bag for him. “c’mon, injunnie. we’re going to eat.” “i’m not hungry right now, jae—” “i’m not taking no for an answer!” jaemin grabbed renjun’s arm and pulled him out of the chair, dragging him to the nearby local restaurant. “this is kidnapping!” renjun whined, following his boyfriend anyway.

 

renjun sulked while staring out the window. he could already feel the formulas he needed to memorize leaving his head, being replaced with memories of earlier that day. jeno kept avoiding him but renjun wasn’t sure why. it was weird, especially since they spent most of the week together except for wednesday. “you’re thinking too loudly, renjun. what’s on your mind?” jaemin set down his chopsticks to give renjun his full attention. “i don’t know. i might just be overreacting, it’s ridiculous, honestly.”

 

“you can tell me. i won’t make fun of you.” renjun bit the inside of his cheek, contemplating his choices. he could tell jaemin and jaemin would either lie and make of him or jaemin could be understanding and console him. “jeno…” jaemin dramatically gasped at renjun’s response, putting a hand over his heart. “well, not exactly him,” renjun started again, “he’s been avoiding me but only when you’re around.” jaemin shrugged, staying silent for a moment. he seemed to be thinking harder than renjun. “maybe he still needs some time to… adjust.” renjun just nodded, eating his jajangmyeon to avoid further conversation.

 

they stayed silent for a while as renjun scrolled through his phone, secretly keeping the screen away from jaemin as he tried to read pictures of notes from ap bio that chenle had sent him. “you’re not busy with tests or anything after tomorrow right?” jaemin asked. “no... why?” “we’re gonna go to a party! that kid johnny from one of the school’s chenle’s team played against invited hyuck, mark and i to his party for the end of the basketball season. you should come with me!”

 

renjun shook his head, “nana, you know parties aren’t exactly my scene.” “i know, but it can help you loosen up after being so stressed! you don’t have to drink if you don’t want to and i’ll even stay sober so we can have a good time together.” renjun sighed and jaemin pouted, “please, renjunie. for your health!” renjun rolled his eyes,  _ my health will only continue to go downhill from here because of him _ , he thought.

 

“can i give you an answer tomorrow?” renjun decided that a little more time to contemplate the invite would be alright. maybe jaemin would forget he even wanted renjun to tag along and would go to the party without him! jaemin smiled, “okay. i’ll be waiting for your answer.” renjun rolled his eyes again after gathering his belongings. “whatever helps you sleep at night.” jaemin followed suit, grabbing his own bag and joining renjun in his trek home.

  
  
  


renjun sat through his classes dreading lunch, when he would see jaemin. renjun wanted to say yes to his invite but he wasn't sure what his friends would think. jeno wouldn’t care since he was already going but chenle and jisung’s opinions really mattered to renjun. he didn’t want them to think he was going to the party just to prove himself to jaemin or something. “ _ you good, gē? _ ” chenle whispered to him, copying the ap biology notes from the powerpoint slide. “ _ just conflicted, i guess. _ ” renjun wasn’t sure how else to put it. “ _ if you want to talk about it _ —“ “back table, if i tell you to be quiet again, i’m taking ten points of the next test for you two.” mr. moon scolded the two friends, making chenle shut his mouth faster than he could eat a cup of ramen. renjun frowned but continued to write his notes. he couldn’t wait for the day to end.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**PRIVATE MESSAGE [ nana** ♥︎ **]**

 

**nana** ♥︎: waiting for u

**nana** ♥︎: i have the gummy worms u like ;00

 

**injeolmi** : i’ll pay you back

**injeolmi** : btw… i have an answer

 

**nana** ♥︎: i won’t take ur money

**nana** ♥︎: and ur answer is???

 

**injeolmi** : i’ll go w/ you to the party

 

**nana** ♥︎: WOO :D

**nana** ♥︎: im so excited!

 

**injeolmi** : but No Drinking.

 

**nana** ♥︎: anything for u ♡♡♡♡

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


renjun paced nervously as he waited for jaemin to finish getting ready. the two walked home together then went to jaemin’s house so they could go to the party together. renjun knew he should be so nervous. he wouldn’t drink and jaemin, jeno and donghyuck would be there. nothing could go wrong, right? 

 

“what are you so nervous for, babe?” jaemin asked, entering the room and scaring renjun. “my kind of party involves board games and movies. not alcohol and hard drugs, jaemin. what if someone slips something into my drink? what if i drink by accident? what if i drink too much and throw up on someone?” he asked, rhetorically with a petrified facial expression. “out of all the things you listed, the worst to you is throwing up on someone?” jaemin deadpanned, grabbing his jacket. renjun pinched his boyfriend, “it’s a rational fear,” he muttered. “rational for someone soft like you,” jaemin smirked. renjun frowned, “i am  _ not  _ soft.” jaemin laughed. “everything will be okay. i’ll find some soda and we can just watch jeno and hyuck get drunk to make sure they don’t do dumb shit. or we can let them do dumb shit and tell them about it tomorrow morning.” renjun shrugged, clicking his seatbelt. “this is my first party. if i get drunk, i’m fighting you.” “you love me too much to fight me.” “not true.” “totally true.”

  
  
  


when they got to johnny’s house, renjun could already feel jaemin’s reassurances dissipate. there were a bunch of people in the front yard with their red solo cups and he could see some people in the driveway. there were probably a shit ton of more people outside and in the backyard. renjun wondered why the neighbors weren’t filing a noise complaint as johnny seemed to live in a somewhat rich community. renjun grabbed jaemin’s hand as they walked inside. “don’t be nervous. one drink won’t give you a disease, injun.” renjun bit the inside of his cheek, “yeah, whatever.” as much as renjun wanted to cling to jaemin for the rest of the night, his boyfriend abandoned him in search of their friends and non-alcoholic drinks for the two of them. 

 

“hey! you look kind of familiar?” a random person walked up to renjun. there was no way renjun would know who he was but renjun agreed with him anyway. “y-yeah… so do you.” “you’re friends with lee jeno right?” renjun nodded, moving closer to the teen to hear him better. “i’m han jisung.” renjun nodded, now recognizing the boy in front of him. renjun couldn’t see his mullet, the only distinguishable feature renjun knew him by. “you should tell him i’ve been looking for him!” the teen winked and handed renjun a cup. “it’s pink lemonade. you’d probably like it. tell me if you see jeno!” han jisung left, probably to go back to his own friends. renjun looked at the cup in his hand, not sure how to feel about it. he didn’t know if he should drink it or not. han jisung could be a liar or he could not be. renjun began to think about jaemin. renjun didn’t want to ruin jaemin’s night because renjun wanted to be a baby and ambivalent towards all the alcohol around them. at some point, he’d have to drink. now would be as good a time as any… right?

 

renjun hadn’t expected the drink to taste bitter but he supposed that there may not have been enough sugar mixed when the person was making the drink. it burned the back of his throat, making him want more to satisfy the burn. renjun had given up on finding jaemin and floated around the party, reuniting himself with han jisung and meeting his friends. they were all born in 2000, which made it easier for renjun to click with them. “who are you here with, renjun?” felix asked, nursing his own drink. “jaemin, jeno and donghyuck. jisung knows jeno. i’m not sure about donghyuck or jaemin.” the other boys nodded, “are you dating anyone?” seungmin asked, quite confidently. the five of them were beginning to pass tipsy and start getting drunk so renjun blamed the abrupt question on their alcohol. “yeah, actually. i’m dating jaemin.”

 

the red-haired boy nodded, “just curious.” hyunjin made a face. “curious about what?” he asked. “if he was single.” “you don’t ask me if i’m single.” “i already know you are.” “but you still don’t ask me.” renjun looked towards felix in confusion but the taller boy just shrugged. “they always do this.” felix mentioned only to renjun. “hyunjin really likes him. seungmin is just oblivious,” felix laughed. “come, refill your cup if you’d like.” renjun didn’t want to stay with the other three alone so he tagged along with felix to the kitchen. checking the time on the oven, renjun hadn’t seen jaemin, jeno, or donghyuck for about a half an hour but he didn’t really mind. the party was going better than he expected it would. he made four new friends, while one may or may not have a crush on him despite his taken status, and he was drinking tolerably but soon to be excessive as felix handed him a bigger cup than before with a new drink, unlike the spiked pink lemonade he was drinking before.

 

he watched as felix took tiny glass cups and drink them in one go. “what are those?” renjun asked, picking up an empty one. “you want to do shots?” felix asked, gathering more of the small cups. “sure, why not.” it was just a small amount so surely that couldn’t be worse than the full two cups renjun had previously drank. he attempted to down three of the small cups in one go. it burned his throat like hell but after a moment it actually felt quite nice. after that renjun and felix returned to their regular sized cups after felix dared him to drink it like a shot. a small group of people gathered around him chanting “chug!” he assumed that was a party thing so he took three more cups and drank them as if they were his life support. before he could grab the fourth one from a random hand, someone pushed him out of the kitchen and away from the crowd.    
  


“babe, what are you doing?” jaemin asked, pulling renjun outside to the backyard. “you left me and never came back so… i-i was drinking.” jaemin laughed but it didn’t really have much emotion, not that renjun could tell. in a matter of minutes he’d be drunk out of his mind. “renjun and drunk in the same sentence? this must be a dream!” donghyuck exclaimed, genuinely laughing. “it’s not funny, hyuck! i can’t take him home like this, his parents would kill me!” renjun shrugged, “they’re usually never home. their work is more important than me.” “just take him back to your place,” jeno suggested. jaemin sighed, “yeah, yeah. come on, renjun.” “wait! we can’t leave yet.” he protested, moving away from jaemin who was trying to grab him. “why not?” his boyfriend asked impatiently. renjun left, with jaemin trailing behind, quickly finding felix and his friends in the same spot from before. instead of drinks han jisung and a new person now held cigarettes. “lee felix! i didn’t get your number.” the blonde smiled, “yeah, of course. hey jaemin.” 

 

renjun looked between felix and his boyfriend. “you guys know each other?” jaemin nodded, seldomly. “yeah… we dance together sometimes.” felix smirked, “yeah, dance. i’ll add you to my group chat, jun. see you the next time we see you.” seungmin waved as the two walked off. “felix is the one who gave you those drinks?” jaemin asked, buckling renjun’s seatbelt for him. “no, i wanted to. you left me and i didn’t want to be alone. you promised you would stay with me.” it sounded meaner than he intended. there was a momentary silence. “i couldn’t leave jeno and hyuck, they were about to drink their livers into failure. i’m sorry.” renjun shrugged, “yeah… can we just go home?”

 

the rest of the car ride was silent except for jaemin’s music playing and renjun’s occasional drunk murmuring in chinese. jaemin helped him upstairs and to his room. “i think jisung likes jeno.” renjun stated absentmindedly, falling onto jaemin’s bed. “but he’s dating chenle…?” jaemin joined his boyfriend on his bed after changing into comfortable clothes and after changing renjun’s clothes since he wanted him to be comfortable as well. “han jisung. seungmin likes me.” jaemin hummed. “not as much as i like you.”

 

“that’s true,” renjun turned over, letting his arm drape across jaemin. “you know… i was scared when you came up to me that day.” jaemin stayed silent, listening to renjun ramble. “i knew about your reputation and only vague mentions of what happened with you and jeno over the summer. jeno kept telling me to stay away from you but the more i avoided you the more i wanted to get to know you. i’m glad i did.” renjun sat up abruptly, turning to jaemin. “you’re the first person i actually understand, you know?” jaemin didn’t know but he nodded anyway. “it takes a long time for me to be friends with people. i’ve known jeno since kindergarten but we weren’t friends until third grade. but you… you made me feel a lot and it was overwhelming but like, a good overwhelming. maybe i love you or something.”

 

“love is a strong word, renjunie. you should be careful who you use it around.” jaemin whispered, sitting up as well. “what if i meant it?” “i might just call you another l word.” renjun smirked, “and what is that?” “a liar. do you know what liars get, renjun?” he shook his head. “kisses.”

 

every time jaemin kissed renjun, the latter felt like he was on cloud nine but being drunk made it even better. it was an intense kiss, unlike the soft and short ones they had shared before. renjun didn’t mind and jaemin didn’t seem to either. jaemin leaned back with renjun on top of him, breaking the kiss. they breathed for air, contently admiring the other. renjun traced the hickeys on jaemin’s neck that he hadn’t noticed before. “did i give you those, jaem?” he asked, letting his fingers linger on some of them. “yeah… yeah you did.” “oh… alright. well i’m tired.” 

 

jaemin groaned in semi-pain but mostly annoyance when renjun fell on top of him. “really, renjun?”

 

“goodnight nana!” “you’re lucky i like you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mm i hope this satisfied ur soft renminbi drought!  
> i (obviously) have never drank before so sorry if my drunk!renjun is not up to any good standards!!  
> ALSO:: if you read Very closely, you'll see that the drama is never ending... there Is more to come ;^)


	9. i miss you, my heart aches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeno: did you tell him
> 
> jaemin: no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title - again (붙잡았어야 해) astro

**moomin babes, GROUP**

 

**junjun** : guys!! i did something fun for once!!

 

**lele** : you did something productive instead of studying??

 

**junjun** : studying is productive

**junjun** : but noooooo guess

 

**jiji** : you went on a date w jaemin again

 

**junjun** : close 

 

**lele** : i give up

 

**jiji** : ^

 

**junjun** : okay lazy

**junjun** : i went to a party With jaemin!

 

**lele** : and?

 

**jiji** : did you get drunk

 

**junjun** : hella

**junjun** : i made some new friends too

 

**lele** : was that such a good idea

 

**junjun** : wdym?

 

**lele** : did jaemin make you drink renjun?

 

**junjun** : no i wanted to

 

**jiji** : that just seems so... not you

 

**lele** : ^

 

**junjun** : it was a one time thing

 

**lele** : i hope so

**lele** : you don’t need to drink to have fun okay!!

 

**junjun** : alright parents

**junjun** : have you guys heard from jeno

 

**lele** : not since we went to the city

 

**jiji** : the last time i saw him was the last time i saw him

 

**junjun** : when was that

 

**jiji** : definitely the time i saw him last

 

**junjun** : okay no help

**junjun** : i’ll text him myself

  
  


 

* * *

  
  
  
  


**PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ jeno jam ]**

 

**moomin** : hey jeno

**moomin** : can i ask you smth

 

**jeno jam** : something wrong?

 

**moomin** : not necessarily 

**moomin** : i was jw why you’ve been avoiding me…

 

**jeno jam** : i’ve just been kind of busy

 

**moomin** : busy enough that you could go to a party?

 

**jeno jam** : … you were there too

 

**moomin** : that’s not really the point jeno

**moomin** : i just want to know why you’re not talking to me

 

**jeno jam** : there’s no reason… i was just busy okay?

**jeno jam** : and besides i thought maybe you wanted some space even though we apologised about That

 

**moomin** : jeno idc about That anymore, we can move on from that

**moomin** : i just want my best friend back ):

 

**jeno jam** : i’m sorry

 

**moomin** : stop apologising 

 

**jeno jam** : okay i’m sorry

**jeno jam** : shit sorry

**jeno jam** : fuck you know what i mean

 

**moomin** : :)

 

**jeno jam** : (:

  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  


 

**PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ kim seungmin ]**

 

**renjun** : hi… is this seungmin, from johnny seo’s party??

 

**seungmin** : it is

**seungmin** : this is huang renjun right?

 

**renjun** : yes!

**renjun** : i can’t exactly take up your offer on hanging out with just us two, but maybe we can get together with all our friends? :)

 

**seungmin** : any opportunity to see you again is fine ;)

 

**renjun** : cute

**renjun** : whenever you all are free you should lmk

 

**seungmin** : definitely

**seungmin** : i was getting scared that you wouldn’t text me yk

 

**renjun** : for what?

**renjun** : i’m a nice guy i keep my promises

 

**seungmin** : too nice

**seungmin** : i gtg but when we’re free i’ll lyk if we’re doing anything

 

**renjun** : okay!!

  
  


* * *

  
  


 

**PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ jaemin ]**

 

**jeno** : hey

**jeno** : please answer

 

**jaemin** : what’s up 

 

**jeno** : did you tell him

 

**jaemin** : no.

 

**jeno** : you’re going to have to

 

**jaemin** : i can’t jeno. 

**jaemin** : he’ll be upset

 

**jeno** : he deserves to know

 

**jaemin** : if he should know so bad why don’t you tell him

 

**jeno** : he should hear it from you

**jeno** : but whatever

**jeno** : if you don’t say something soon i’ll tell him

 

**jaemin** : we wouldn’t have to say anything if you could keep your hands to yourself

 

**jeno** : that’s not fair jaemin

**jeno** : we were both drunk

 

**jaemin** : you were 

**jaemin** : i wasn’t 

 

**jeno** : that makes it even worse jaemin. 

  
  
  


**JENO LEFT THE CHAT**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler but essential to the story :0  
> i updated again bc i'm going to busy this week again as well ):  
> anyway,,, this happened and More To Come ;^)


	10. i don't know if this is reality or a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> drunken words are sober thoughts. or in this case, sober actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: butterfly - bts

**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ jeno ]_ **

 

**jaemin** : hi

 

**jeno** : no

 

**jaemin** : please

 

**jeno** : not until you say something to renjun

 

**jaemin** : i will i swear

 

**jeno** : when

 

**jaemin** : monday after school

 

**jeno** : …

**jeno** : okay

**jeno** : what do you want

 

**jaemin** : to talk

 

**jeno** : go talk to your boyfriend

 

**jaemin** : i can’t talk to him i’ll be stressed

 

**jeno** : ffs

**jeno** : wtvr my front door is open

 

**jaemin** : thanks man

  
  
  
  


* * *

  


 

 

jaemin didn’t know what he was thinking in those moments when he was texting jeno but he now found himself walking to his ex’s house, guilty and unsure of how to go about his current situation. jaemin felt like doing one of those _record scratch, freeze frame_ moments from the movies when something bad happens. he had a bad feeling about going to jeno’s house but he did so anyway.  

 

“we have a problem,” was the first thing jaemin said when he entered jeno’s bedroom. “not we, you.” jeno paid no attention to jaemin’s paranoid and anxiousness, scrolling on his phone. “i don’t know what to say to renjun.”

 

the two stayed silent for a moment before jeno responded. “don’t tell him over text message because that’s rude. you should meet somewhere private and tell him there.” jaemin considered the suggestion. “what if it gets awkward and i have to like… drive him home or something?”

 

“i really don’t care how you do it, jaemin,” jeno sighed, exasperatedly. “you just have to tell him. he deserves to hear it from you, because it was mostly your fault.” “my fault?” jaemin questioned, incredulously. “yes, your fault! i was drunk, jaemin. you could have pushed me away or took me to donghyuck or something but you didn’t. i guess i’m at fault as well, for trying to kiss you, but you never stopped me, which makes this situation ten times more worse.”

 

“i’m sorry.” “i’m not the person you need to apologise to.”

 

there was another momentary silence until jeno said something again.

 

“ever since freshman year, you were so carefree. i liked that, i guess. you and donghyuck were so fun and i was— am boring so it balanced out. dating you was… an experience. you were so different in a realtionship than in a friendship and because of everything we went through i guess i became a more reserved person than i already was. renjun is a really introverted person and i don’t want him to go through the same thing i did because you have trust and commitment issues, jaemin. you should have never courted him.”

 

“i loved you, jeno.” “that’s bullshit, jaemin.” jeno scoffed, rolling his eyes as well. “i really did. and i’m sorry for messing with you like that. you were right, i should have just listened to you when you said we should’ve stayed as friends.”

 

jeno chuckled soulessly, “i’ve always been right jaemin.” “yeah… you were the one who made rational decisions in our relationship.” there was another silence but this time it wasn’t awkward as the two friends just enjoyed the others company. at this particular moment, jaemin remembered his bad feeling about going over to jeno’s house. his previous suspicions were only proven correct when he kissed jeno.

 

“what the fuck, jaemin?” jeno exclaimed, pushing his friend off of him. “i-i’m sorry, jeno—” “you should go.” jeno crossed his arms, looking anywhere except his friend. “jeno—” “go home, jaemin! you’re just making everything worse.” jaemin turned to jeno before leaving the latter’s bedroom, “i’m sorry.” jeno frowned. “like i said, i’m not the person you need to apologise to.”

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  


**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE_ ** [ nana♥︎ ]

 

**nana♥︎** : heyyyy!!!! !! Did you know

**nana♥︎** : that I love you

 

**injeolmi** : yes

**injeolmi** : you tell me every day babe

 

**nana♥︎** : like a lot

**nana♥︎** : sooooo so  sooso much

**nana♥︎** : more than a n yo n e

**nana♥︎** : my mom

**nana♥︎** : jeno

**nana♥︎** : hyuck, felix, mark

 

**injeolmi** : okay….

**injeolmi** : are you feeling alright jaem?

 

**nana♥︎** : better than since i got out the Hospital :D

 

**injeolmi** : so i guess i should take that as a no…

 

**nana♥︎** : come over babeee

 

**injeolmi** : only bc you’re acting weird

 

**nana♥︎** : s’okay ik u luv meee

 

**injeolmi** : unfortunately

 

**nana♥︎** : i’ll be hwaiting!

 

**injeolmi** : don’t do anything i wouldn’t do jaem

**_READ 21:46_ **

 

**nana♥︎** : too late heehee!!!!!!!

  
  
  
  
  


renjun wasn’t sure how to interpret the last text but after three phone calls from jaemin while he was skating to his boyfriend’s house, renjun concluded the latter was drunk. why he would randomly get drunk on a saturday night by himself, renjun had no idea. all he knew was that he should probably be there so jaemin didn’t drink his kidneys into failure at the age of seventeen.

 

renjun wasn’t sure what he expected to see since he had never been around jaemin under the influence but what he saw was amusing yet also concerning. renjun just assumed that maybe jaemin was the kind of person who could control himself adequately when he drank, considering how often he did during the summer break before senior year. “jaemin… i want to ask how much alcohol you had but i think i’m scared for your answer,” renjun exclaimed, entering his boyfriend’s bedroom.

 

jaemin was laying upside down off his bed with a book in his hands, most likely not reading it since the book was upside down and jaemin probably couldn’t make the words out either way. “uh, maybe six or seven bottles. it could’ve been more, i don’t really remember.” he replied, with a small laugh. renjun felt his shoulders slump with defeat and nothing had even happened yet.

 

he felt like looking into the camera with exasperation like the characters do on the american show the office. _just great_ , he thought, setting his skateboard by the doorway. “alright… well, you can’t sit like that, you’ll get nauseous.” renjun tried to pull jaemin up but the latter was being stubborn. “who are you, my mom?” renjun rolled his eyes, “until she returns home, yes i am. c’mon jaemin, you’re going to throw up if you don’t sit up the right way.”

 

“no! you’ll break my back again,” jaemin pouted, falling back to his original position when renjun successfully pulled him up. “i don’t want to go to therapy again.” “nana, i’m not going to break your back and you won’t have to go back to therapy, okay? can you just sit the correct way for me, please?” jaemin seemed to contemplate the request. “only because you asked nicely. can i get a kiss?” renjun frowned, “you’re probably going to pass out in the next half hour.” “that didn’t stop me from making out with you when you were drunk.” jaemin retorted, crossing his arms.

 

_if there really is a God out there_ , renjun thought, _please help me_. “i’m going to get you water, okay? stay here,” renjun ordered, even though renjun wasn’t sure where jaemin could go. he went downstairs to get a plastic cup, steering himself away from glass incase jaemin dropped it. renjun didn’t exactly have the kind of money to pay for new drinking glasses as an apology a middle aged woman.

 

filling the cup, renjun found jaemin’s phone on the kitchen countertop, where he also left empty beer bottles. renjun sighed and put them in deep in the recycle bin so jaemin’s mother wouldn’t see them and picked up his phone. he didn’t want to be that kind of person but renjun couldn’t help but look through the notifications on jaemin’s lockscreen.

 

texts from mark and donghyuck. a few missed calls and texts from lee felix and the usual social media notifications.

 

renjun didn’t have jaemin’s phone password so he couldn’t look at the messages but renjun assumed that was a normal night in jaemin’s phone. he was probably drunk texting people anyway.

 

“babe, what the hell?” renjun snatched the beer bottle from jaemin who was sitting on his bed, still with the book but now the television was on. “you told me to stay here.” he replied, with a sly smile. “yes, but i didn’t mean— nevermind.” renjun sighed, putting the cup of water on jaemin’s nightstand. renjun was five seconds away from ripping his hair out one by one. “you must have been a handful when you were a baby.” jaemin laughed, “i’m still a baby. _you’re_ baby.” renjun rolled his eyes, “yeah, whatever. can you drink the water? at least a little bit?”

 

jaemin held the cup to his mouth but didn’t drink anything, “only if you’ll kiss me after.” “jaemin, can you please just drink the water? you’ll get dehydrated!” renjun was close to begging on his knees, seriously. this boy would put him into cardiac arrest. “you have to promise, first. or else i’ll find someone else to kiss!” renjun rolled his eyes, “alright… i promise.”

 

renjun sat down next to jaemin who only drank half the cup but that was progress, right? “you know what, i don’t even want to kiss you anymore. i'll find someone else. he wouldn’t do this to me,” jaemin stated, laying his head in renjun’s lap. “who is ‘he’?” renjun asked, with air quotes around the pronoun.

 

“the guy i made out with yesterday. at johnny’s party.” jaemin shrugged, as if it was something that happened daily. renjun wasn't sure how to interpret that information, if it was any. sure, he remembered making out with jaemin yesterday, but that didn't happen at johnny’s house. “jaemin, what are you talking about?” “you know, when you were with felix in the kitchen. then you got seungmin's number. by the way, i don’t like seungmin, i think he likes you. only i can like you.”

 

renjun ignored jaemin's rambling and sent a text to jeno and donghyuck. they had to be with jaemin last night, right? if jaemin was with them like he said he was, although renjun wasn’t sure if donghyuck and jeno would give him reliable answers since jaemin said they were also drunk out of their minds but maybe they handle their alcohol better than their friend.

  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  


 

**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ hyuck ]_ **

 

**renjun** : hey can i ask a question

 

**hyuck** : ask away

 

**renjun** : were you w jaemin last night at johnny’s party

 

**hyuck** : uhh that’s kinda hazy,,,,,

**hyuck** : i saw him when u guys first came

**hyuck** : then before you left after you had all those drinks

 

**renjun** : …

**renjun** : okay

 

**hyuck** : something wrong??

 

**renjun** : just curious :)

**renjun** : thanks though!

 

**hyuck** : anytime :)

  
  
  
  
  


**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ jeno jam ]_ **

 

**moomin** : i need you to be honest w me jeno

 

**jeno jam** : always

 

**moomin** :  were you w jaemin last night at johnny’s party

 

**jeno jam** : injun i don’t even remember what happened when i woke up that morning

 

**moomin** : jeno… srsly

 

**jeno jam** : srry

**jeno jam** : alr well i remember seeing you guys come in

**jeno jam** : he stayed with me after i started drinking

**jeno jam** : …

**jeno jam** : he went to some room for a while when i lost him

**jeno jam** : then i saw him with you before you left

 

**moomin** : can i ask you smth jeno

**moomin** : and you can you please tell me the whole truth

 

**jeno jam** : of course

 

**moomin** : when jaemin went into that room

**moomin** : was there someone else there

**_READ 22:54_ **

 

**jeno jam** : yes

 

**moomin** : okay.

**moomin** : thank you

 

**jeno jam** : what happened renjun?

 

**moomin** : just curious

 

**jeno jam** : renjun?

**_READ 23:01_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


renjun looked down at jaemin, who was now fast asleep. renjun pushed jaemin off of him softly, so he wouldn’t wake up. he frowned before leaving, staring at jaemin. renjun knew he was being too nice about this. deep down, part of him wanted to shake jaemin awake and yell in his face for possibly cheating on him. in another part of him, he knew that he should deal with it tomorrow, when jaemin wasn’t drunk and they could handle things maturely.

 

it was upsetting and very hurtful in a way, that jaemin had to be drunk to be honest with renjun. but renjun supposed that it was like his mother always told him, drunken words are sober thoughts.

 

or in this case, sober actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i got rlly sick two weeks ago and finals are in like three weeks so… it’ll probably be awhile until the last four chapters of this book! :):
> 
> also i apologise if this is not up to regular standards (wtvr those are LOL) i wanted to update cos ik i'll be gone for longer than usual


	11. we might not make it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward arguments ensue and harsh insults are thrown. what else can you expect from someone who's heart was recently broken?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: keiynan lonsdale - lay it on me  
> italics = mandarin

**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE [ kim seungmin ]_ **

 

**seungmin** : hey! u free soon??

 

**renjun** : depends,,, when are you free

 

**seungmin** : tuesday night

**seungmin** : jisung has an off-season basketball game

**seungmin** : don’t rlly want to go by myself so would u wanna come with? :)

 

**renjun** : hmmm i’ll see if my schedule is free

 

**seungmin** : i didn’t know u were a busy guy

**seungmin** : must be in high demand

 

**renjun** : yeah by about three people

 

**seungmin** : am i one of them :00

 

**renjun** : yes actually

**renjun** : and it seems that i’m miraculously free on tuesday…

 

**seungmin** : how convenient

**seungmin** : see u tues :))

  
  


* * *

 

 

it had been three days since renjun had last seen jaemin, when the latter had said all those things to him, while under the influence. renjun didn’t tell anyone what happened but he supposed jeno and donghyuck would have figured it out if jaemin hadn’t told them yet. to be quite honest, renjun didn’t want to talk about it. part of him wanted to think it was a bad dream but he knew the harsh reality. his first boyfriend had cheated on him. what a shitty way to end your first relationship, right?

 

renjun couldn’t mope and complain, though. jeno had warned him. renjun thought jeno was saying all that stuff in the beginning of senior year just to spite him because he didn’t want his ex to date his best friend, but no. it was the horrible truth that renjun let go through one ear and out of the other. now he had to deal with it, whether he liked it or not. and just to be clear, he definitely did _not_ like it.

 

“injun! when are you going to open the messages i sent to you?” chenle asked, taking the seat next to renjun at their assigned table. renjun shrugged and flipped through his ap bio workbook to avoid eye contact with his friend. “i was busy this weekend.” chenle laughed, “yeah, you get drunk with your boyfriend once and forget about everyone else.” renjun frowned. boyfriend. did he even want to call jaemin that anymore? was he deserving of that title? “ _what’s up with you, renjun_?” chenle asked, whispering so lingering ears didn’t listen in on the conversation.

 

“ _nothing you should worry about, lele_ .” renjun left it at that, desperate for the subject to change. for once the entire school year, he actually hoped their teacher was present today. “ _alright, well then_ ,” chenle replied, in a non believing voice. “ _are you free tonight? jisung and i are going to see the new marvel movie, infinity war_ !” renjun hummed, feigning making a decision. “ _i can’t. i already made plans_ .” chenle groaned, “ _you spend too much time with jaemin! one day, you’ll hang out with us again_ .” “ _who said that i was going to be with jaemin?_ ” renjun retorted. it came out in a mean way, though he didn’t intend for his response to sound so rude.

 

“ _oh, really? what happened with you guys_ ?” chenle pushed, raising an eyebrow with sudden interest. “ _nothing… i can’t have other friends_ ?” renjun asked, rhetorically, looking away from his friend for a moment. chenle laughed, “ _no! only me, jisung and jeno. don’t forget. and if you change your mind, the extra ticket with your name on it is only seventeen thousand won_.” renjun nodded with a smile, knowing that he’d at least get to save seventeen thousand won tonight.

 

the class started and renjun sighed with relief. listening to the teacher lecture about more advanced biology the seniors might see in college was a good way to take his mind off of things he didn’t want to deal with. until he had to deal with it.

 

in the closed doorway stood jaemin, waving through the window to renjun. this time, he sighed with exasperation. when they made eye contact, jaemin pointed in the direction to the closest boys bathroom. chenle nudged renjun under the table after renjun asked to be excused. renjun wished they weren’t in class so he could put his friend in a chokehold.

 

“jaemin, shouldn’t you be in class right now?” renjun asked, walking beside the taller boy. they weren’t walking towards the bathroom so he assumed that jaemin was taking him somewhere else, where people wouldn’t be walking in and out and possibly eavesdropping. “as if i really cared about school. renjun, i wanted to apologise—” “you can keep your apology, jaemin.” renjun turned around but jaemin grabbed his wrist.

 

“i’m serious, injun. i didn’t mean any of those things i said…” renjun laughed at that, soulessly. “so are you telling me they were lies? you’re going to lie straight to my face, again?” jaemin let go of renjun’s hand, running his own through his hair. “it was a bad decision, i know! but i want to fix this.”

 

there was a moment of silence before renjun answered. “there’s nothing to fix, jaemin. whatever _‘this’_ is, was broken from the start, okay?” “we can make it work, injun.” “there’s no _we_ anymore, jaemin!” renjun exclaimed, then sighed to calm himself. “i don’t want to do this here or now. just leave me alone for the rest of the day, okay?” jaemin frowned, “okay. but we’ll talk about it right?” “yeah, whatever. go back to class before you get detention.” “glad to know you still care a little.”

 

“a little is already an exaggeration.” renjun mumbled to himself, leaving the empty classroom to return to his ap bio lab.

 

chenle was smirking at renjun when he finally got back to his seat, as if the younger knew something and renjun didn’t. “ _you shouldn’t smile like that, lele. don’t you know what a face freeze is?_ ” chenle smile faltered and he rolled his eyes at that, returning his attention to the almost completed lesson. “ _just know that i’ll be waiting for whatever drama you want to spill to me_.”

 

“ _i’ll keep it in mind_ ,” renjun replied, knowing that he wouldn’t be telling anything to chenle’s big mouth any time soon until he rectified whatever this situation was with jaemin.

  
  
  
  
+++  
  
  


when the time came, seungmin and renjun went to cheer on jisung for his  last basketball game before tournaments and division championships. if he had any hand to eye coordination, renjun felt that he would probably enjoy basketball but he knew that he should stick to being an artist.

 

“are there any sports you play?” renjun asked, as they sat in the bleachers, cheering their friend on as he made basket after basket and fouled a few other players out of the game by the end of the third quarter. “i play baseball. i started when i lived in los angeles—” “you lived in los angeles? like the states?” renjun interuppted, almost giving himself whiplash from looking to seungmin. the red head laughed, “yup, the states. i was only there with my family for three months, though. my dad had a job thing that didn’t work out so we came back here.”

 

renjun could feel his shoulders slump. “there’s so many cool things i don’t know about you.” seungmin smiled, “trust me, i’m not that cool. but,” he trailed off, “there are some things i don’t know about you either, huang renjun.” renjun shrugged, “there’s not much you need to know. i like to draw and paint, i still watch kids shows that played on television from when i was a baby in china and sometimes i study with my free time?”

 

seungmin rolled his eyes jokingly, “wow, so i’m on a date with a nerd right now?” renjun’s heart stopped for a second. _date?_ “what’s wrong with nerds?” renjun asked, ignoring the anxiety ridden thoughts that plagued his mind at the moment. “nothing, if they’re anything like you.” “good thing there’s only one of me then, right?”

 

the game ended shortly after that conversation so before the pair left to meet up with jisung, renjun decided to use the bathroom first. as he washed his hands, he thought about what seungmin had said. the red-head clearly thought it was a date but renjun didn’t really think of it that way. did he want it to be a date? maybe. but wouldn’t that mean he was moving on from jaemin way too quickly? or was his desire to move on justified because of what jaemin had done to him?

 

instead of dwelling on his stomach-churning thoughts, renjun quickly dried his hands and returned to his friends. it wouldn’t do him any good to think about jaemin when he should be having a good time. “oh, renjun is back!” he heard seungmin exclaim. when he could finally make out the other people in the group, it was too late for renjun to turn around and run away.

 

“jaemin,” renjun stated, hoping there was nothing but malice in his voice. “hi injun.” “you don’t get to call me that. only my friends can.” seungmin and felix looked between the two then shared a confused look with each other. “i thought you guys were dating?” felix asked.

 

renjun shook his head. “not until he decided to cheat. i mean, unless people date cheaters.” jaemin sighed, “renjun—” “no, it’s okay! i totally understand, jaemin. one person isn’t good enough for you, so you had to go out and find someone else. it’s not like i have feelings and a heart or anything. seriously, don’t worry. i wouldn’t want you to use your miniscule braincells too much.”

 

jaemin crossed his arms, “what more do you want me to tell you, renjun? i already apologised to you!” “well it wasn’t enough okay? there aren’t enough apologies in this entire world to make up for what you did! just go back to felix and leave me the fuck out of this!” felix opened his mouth to say something but seungmin stopped him. “tell jisung we said congratualtions on the win. i think we should go now.”

 

“bright idea,” jaemin muttered. “i guess jaemin and i should go too. sorry about… this?” felix apologised. seungmin just shrugged and renjun began to leave.

 

“hey, renjun, what the hell was that?” seungmin asked, trailing behind him. “jaemin being an absolute piece of shit, that’s what that was, seungmin. and he had the audacity to come with the person he cheated on me with too!” “well… they didn’t know we were going to be there. usually felix has dance on tuesdays but i guess it was cancelled or something.”

 

renjun sighed exasperatedly.

 

“i don’t really want to talk about it anymore. i’m sorry for embarrassing you, though.” seungmin waved his hand in dismissal, “you didn’t embarrass me, it was just a little awkward but you have all the right to be upset with him about it. Let’s just focus on getting home, okay?” renjun nodded, he could agree with that.

 

the walk back to renjun’s house was fairly quiet with some off topic conversation to lighten the previous somber mood. “thank you for taking me out though, seungmin. i did have a good time with you,” renjun smiled, making sure his friend knew that despite the bad things that happened, it was still a fun night. “i’m glad you had a good time with me. maybe the next time we hang out, it’ll be just us two.” renjun nodded, “i’d like that, a lot.”

 

there was a small silence, kind of like the ones in those cliche hetero movies where the guy and girl are about to kiss on the doorstep before the girl goes into her house. however, renjun was not so lucky to have an experience like that.

 

"i'll text you tomorrow! see you," seungmin waved and renjun returned the motion, watching him walk down the driveway.

 

renjun wasn't so sure if he wanted seungmin to text him, but a tiny part of him hoped he would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> studying for finals really burned me out. i kept opening and closing google docs bc i couldn't muster any thoughts to write so i kind of forced this out of myself... not where i want it to be,, and neither are the last two chapters but they'll be published later today or tomorrow!! sorry for the long wait ):


	12. patience like petrol, it’s running low

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> points and decisions were made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: honey lavender - ieuan

**_moomin babes, GROUP_ **

 

**lele** : uno it’s been a week, renjun

 

**jenjen** : ^

 

**jiji** : ^ x2

 

**junjun** : so

 

**lele** : you need to stop just coming and going to school

**lele** : you should hang out w us tonight

 

**junjun** : i can’t

**junjun** : he’ll be there

 

**jenjen** : no he won’t

 

**jiji** : it’ll be just us with donghyuck and mark

 

**junjun** : i can’t

 

**jenjen** : please

 

**junjun** : no

 

**jenjen** : renjun you can’t isolate yourself like this

 

**lele** : there will be other boys

 

**junjun** : what if i don’t want there to be other boys

 

**lele** : that’s just the way it is

 

**jiji** : what if we invite seungmin and felix

 

**junjun** : ….

 

**jenjen** : okay,,,, we can just invite seungmin??

 

**junjun** : i don’t want to see him either

 

**lele** : ):

**lele** : let’s not force him guys

 

**jiji** : fine

 

**lele** : just know that we’ll be here, okay

 

**junjun** : k

 

**lele** : ilu ):

 

**jiji** : <3

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**PRIVATE iMESSAGE** [  **renjun** ]

 

**jeno** : hey

 

**renjun** : don’t ask me to hang out again please

 

**jeno** : it’s not that

**jeno** : i have to tell you something about jaemin

 

**renjun** : i don’t want to talk about him

**renjun** : i don’t want to hear anything about him until i die

 

**jeno** : i really think you should

 

**renjun** : i already know…

 

**jeno** : you do???

 

**renjun** : he cheated on me with felix

**renjun** : like he did with you

**renjun** : people don’t change do they

 

**jeno** : no i don’t suppose they do

**jeno** : but it wasn’t with felix, renjun

 

**renjun** : ????

**renjun** : so who was it?????

 

**jeno** : …. it was me

 

**renjun** : i thought we agreed that you were the unfunny one in this friendship lee jeno

 

**jeno** : i’m not joking

**jeno** : it was me

 

**renjun** : you’re seriously joking

 

**jeno** : it was the night of that one party and i was drunk okay

**jeno** : i said some things i didn’t mean and we made out

**jeno** : and he kissed me two weeks ago… the day that he got drunk and told you all that stuff 

**jeno** : i know it’s bad 

**jeno** : and i’m sorry

 

**renjun** : you can’t just say sorry and expect me to forgive you like all you did was step on my foot

**renjun** : i’ve been going to school and almost having panic attacks just from hearing jaemin’s  _ name _ and  _ you’re _ the one he cheated on me with?

 

**jeno** : i know… 

 

**renjun** : you don’t jeno

**renjun** : you don’t know anything

 

**jeno** : i know how it feels to be cheated on renjun

**jeno** : i’m just... 

**jeno** : i’m sorry it had to be your best friend

 

**renjun** : me too

 

**jeno** : i’m sorry

 

**_YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGES OR CALL THIS NUMBER_ **

 

**jeno** : renjun ):

 

**_YOU ARE UNABLE TO SEND MESSAGES OR CALL THIS NUMBER_ **

  
  
  
  
  
  


**PRIVATE iMESSAGE** [  **kim seungmin** ]

 

**renjun** : hey

**renjun** : can i come over

 

**seungmin** : of course

**seungmin** : do you want me to get you anything

 

**renjun** : no not really

**renjun** : i’m kind of already here

 

**seungmin** : omw

  
  


* * *

  
  
seungmin let renjun into his house with open arms, seemingly knowing that renjun was in a terrible mood. 

 

“what’s wrong?” he asked, sitting down. renjun shrugged, letting himself melt into seungmin’s hold. “i feel empty, numb, like a complete dumbass.” seungmin frowned. “is this about what happened on tuesday?” renjun nodded. “it wasn’t felix.”

 

renjun paused for a second. he didn’t want to say it, not out loud. he didn’t think he was ready to let the fact that his boyfriend cheated on him with his best friend sink in. it felt like a stab directly in a major artery, intended for death. 

 

“you don’t have to tell me who it was,” seungmin insisted but renjun shook his head in protest. “i should tell someone. it—it would be bad to keep everything to myself…” he decided, taking a few deep breaths before explaining and showing seungmin the texts that were sent and received before he ended up at his house.

 

“it was jeno. he was drunk so jaemin went to help him out before he did something that could hurt him and then they hooked up. jaemin helped jeno not get hurt but in the end he hurt me,” renjun laughed, though it was just to fill the silence. “honestly, i don’t blame you for thinking it was felix though. i wouldn’t really be surprised,” seungmin commented. “felix still has some things he needs to sort out with jaemin from last summer so, yeah, there’s that. but i think you should talk to jaemin.” seungmin suggested.

 

renjun thought about it for a moment. he didn’t want to be anywhere jaemin had last breathed. how was he supposed to talk to him, especially about this? “i don’t even know where i should start,” renjun thought aloud. “well... you have to break up with him, for starters.” renjun nodded. that would be as good a place to begin as any, right? “then we can talk about it. maybe he had some kind of reasoning for what he did.”

 

seungmin nodded, “you should always listen to both sides of the story, whether you like it or not. it’ll give you a chance to put yourself in jaemin’s shoes. you dont have to try to justify what he did but you shouldn’t be dead set on your opposing opinion. it’s better to end a relationship on good terms than have the both of you hate each others guts and regret everything later in life.” renjun took in everything seungmin said.

 

“it seems as though you’ve been through this before,” renjun observed, nudging seungmin playfully. he hummed before replying. “i have, last year. he was a sophomore and we were juniors. not as intense as this but it was kind of complicated.” seungmin confessed. “but we’re good friends now! so even though you and jaemin will be broken up, the two of you can still have a good platonic relationship with each other since, you know, romantically it didn’t work out.”

 

renjun considered that. when they first met, renjun had thought jaemin was insufferable but that was only because of all the things jeno kept telling him. as the two of them had hung out by themselves and got to know each other, renjun realised that jaemin wasn’t as bad of a person as jeno had kept insisting he was. maybe it would be a good thing for them to break up, but as seungmin pointed out, they didn’t have to lose their frienship because of it.

 

“very good points were made,” renjun concluded, looking up at seungmin. “who would have thought you had some braincells?”

 

seungmin laughed and renjun joined in but it was short lived, as the previous conversation still held some weight over the atmosphere. “if you do break up with him,” seungmin started, “take your time. you don’t have to come back to me, okay?” 

 

“what if i want to?” renjun protested, moving himself out of the younger boy’s arms and sitting up. “i really do like you, renjun, but i don’t want this to be a rebound or something,” renjun frowned at that, “you’ll be confused and upset over jaemin even though the conflict will feel resolved. so… maybe we should stay friends until the post-break up feelings reside, or something like that.”  


 

renjun sighed. he didn’t like the idea but he knew where seungmin was coming from. It wouldnt be fair to either of them to jump into another relationship when one of them had just gotten out of one.

 

“okay... i understand. i guess i should talk to jaemin then,” renjun decided, standing up. seungmin nodded, “it’s for the best, you know.” renjun wanted to frown but he knew that everything would be okay after. “yeah... thank you for all the advice and stuff. just friends.” “just friends.” 


	13. i should definitely stop today

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> official break-ups are heartbreaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter title: timeless - nct u

**_PRIVATE iMESSAGE_ ** [ jaemin ]

 

**renjun** : hi

 

**jaemin** : hey

 

**renjun** : you’re not busy by any chance?

 

**jaemin** : … never for you

 

**renjun** : okay. meet me at the park?

 

**jaemin** : ofc

  
  


* * *

  
  


renjun was already at the park when he had sent that text, giving jaemin his location. it was the same place jaemin had taken him on their first date.  _ good times _ , renjun supposed. all good things had to come to an end at some point though, right? 

 

it had been around ten minutes before jaemin texted renjun telling him he had arrived but renjun made no effort to find him. “renjun... hey.” jaemin took a seat on the bench next to him, not far but still an awkward amount of distance.

 

renjun rolled his eyes, “i’m not going to give you a disease.” jaemin apologised, moving closer. “it wasn’t an invitation though,” renjun retorted, before the other boy could get any ideas. “okay… well what did you want to talk about?”

 

“i think you already know.” he muttered, looking away and focusing on the kids running around in the field. renjun could practically feel jaemin slump. “yeah… about that—” “you don’t have to apologise anymore. it’s okay.” “it’s not okay, renjun! i treated you like shit and i didn’t mean to. i shouldn’t have done that to you. it was huge mistake and there’s nothing i can say or do to get you back… is there?”

 

they sat in silence for a moment. “not really.” renjun answered, risking a glance at jaemin. renjun took a shaky breath before he continued with what he wanted to say. “i just… i need you to listen to me, alright? can you do that?” jaemin nodded at his request. “after everything with jeno, i know you wanted to change yourself or whatever. you wanted to try a real relationship with someone and not hookups like freshman and sophomore year. lucky for me, i was… i was that someone. but i’m not the person you should have tried that with.”

 

“renjun—” “hush, jaemin.” renjun had to stop himself for a moment. he knew he shouldn’t cry. he didn’t need to cry over jaemin. it wasn’t worth it. jaemin wasn’t worth his tears.

 

“i should’ve known that this wouldn’t end well. even after everything you did to jeno. but i want to know. not jeno’s half-assed explanation. i want to know exactly what happened that summer, jaemin.” there was another silence. renjun supposed jaemin was gathering his thoughts for a second before he retold the story.

 

“at the end of sophomore year, before my accident, jeno and i got closer and we started dating but we were secretive about it, i guess. no one really knew anything except us two. i joined a new dance studio, the one my aunt owns. there i met felix and minho since we were in the same group. felix, minho and i hung out a lot after practices when i wasn’t with jeno or when he was busy with his extracurriculars. after a while felix and i were close friends…”

 

there was a silence.  

 

“we were… too close. sometimes i would tell jeno that i had dance practice but i would go hang out with felix instead. then i had an accident after a competition with my back so i had to leave for most of junior year. jeno would visit me, of course, but felix came over to my house as well. now i realise how rude and unappreciative of me it is to say that i was more excited to see felix than jeno on most days. i remember one day jeno came over while i was sleeping and saw a shit ton of texts from felix and he asked me who he was but i just said a dance friend. it wasn’t exactly a lie but an understatement because felix and i were more than friends but less than boyfriends. i got better this summer when jeno and i went ‘public’,” jaemin made finger air quotes for emphasis. 

 

“around the time i started to become friends with donghyuck and mark, jeno found out about what me and felix had been… doing when i was in remediation and then we broke it off. i don’t know how everyone else knew but they did and i just never bothered with any other relationships for the rest of the summer. i went around making friends with people and hooking up with them before either one of us could become too attached to each other.”

 

“then i met you. i mean, i already knew who you were since freshman year and we’re in the same grade. i knew you were friends with jeno but i didn’t care. there was always something about you renjun, and there still is.” renjun couldn’t help but laugh pointedly at that. “i was scared. jeno was my first real relationship and i fucked it up. i saw how much i hurt jeno even after he accepted to just be friends. i didn’t want to hurt you like i hurt him.”

 

“but you did, jaemin! don’t you see that? you hurt me so much… if you loved me like you say you do, this would have never happened. i wouldn’t have to be talking to you here and solving this problem!” renjun exclaimed, turning to jaemin. “renjun, i swear, i didn’t want to—”

 

“stop! if you keep saying things like that… i-it might just make me believe you.” 

 

“what’s wrong with believing me?” jaemin whispered, the desperation heavy in his voice.

 

renjun frowned. “i can’t be with someone who’ll just end up going to someone else. i understand you wanted a change, maybe for the better. but i’m not resilient enough to be in a relationship where my significant other can’t dedicate themself to me.”

 

jaemin sighed and renjun took off his bracelet. it was the expensive couple bracelet jaemin had given to him two months in advance for his birthday. “i think you should take this. maybe sell it or something.” “why would i do that, renjun?” jaemin asked, incredulously. “i can’t keep it.” 

 

jaemin pushed it back in renjun’s hands, “well i can’t take it from you. we can fix this, it’ll be okay.” 

 

“you know, you keep saying that, but it's hard to get to the ‘it’ll be okay’ part, because it's not okay! what you did to me, what you took away from me, jaemin? it's not okay. and i just don't understand how you could've done it.” renjun wiped his teary eyes and stood, leaving jaemin to sit in silence. 

 

“i get it, i really do. you love me. and i love you too. you were my first boyfriend so deep in the back of my mind and deep in my heart, you’ll always be there. i’ll always love you. and whatever we had while it lasted was amazing but we need to break up. i just don’t think i can waste my time trying to fix something that was always broken.”

 

jaemin stood and sighed, for the umpteenth time in that hour, which felt like a lifetime. “okay… i understand.” renjun nodded, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

“thank you, i guess. since i’m a nice person, we can still be friends. just because we couldn’t date doesn’t mean we can go the rest of the year ignoring each other’s existence, okay? i’ll still be around to make sure you don’t do anything i wouldn’t.” jaemin smiled sadly, “well, we’ll see about that.” 

 

renjun smiled back, “i hope we can both grow from this. bye, jaemin.” 

 

there was a moment of silence.

 

“me too,” jaemin replied, hugging renjun. he hugged him back tightly, feeling as though a weight was lifted off his shoulders. renjun knew this was the right thing to do and he wouldn’t regret it for a second.

 

“goodbye renjun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... finally finished. I'm thinking of making an epilogue with a huge time skip as well so let me know if you'd want that  <3 
> 
> this fic strayed so off track from what i really wanted it to be so i'm sorry. maybe one day i'll make a super soft renmin fic with no angst! there's another series that i started on my profile so if you guys want to read that, please do!!! thanks for sticking with this one, even though it was so bad ^^' i genuinely hope you enjoyed and if there's anything you guys want to see my write, don't hesitate to leave some suggestions as well!

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first nct fic so why not write about the softest dream ship


End file.
